“Hiiiii sisters! Oh my god, thank you so much for having me, Baby. This is honestly the most credible podcast I’ve done in weeks — and I once cried on Logan Paul’s lawn.” [baby coos off-mic] “I know, right? Okay, listen. I just want to clear the air — or like, lightly contour it. Because there’s been a lot of misinformation flying around… mostly from people who edit screenshots on CapCut and think ‘due process’ is a skincare brand.” “So, here’s the tea: I am NOT dating Evan Johnson. I was never dating Evan Johnson. I wasn’t even flirting with Evan Johnson… unless you count emojis, and even then it was just 😅, not 🍆. There’s a difference, okay?” “Yes, he stayed at my house… briefly. As in like, less time than it takes me to apply my third layer of setting spray. Maybe he stayed for a few days. Maybe there were some FaceTimes. Maybe I saw him shirtless once or twice or twelve times — but it was platonic shirtlessness.” [pause, fake deep breath] “Do I support Evan Johnson? Absolutely not. Not in any way. Not in any shape. Not in any form. Not even in emoji form. I literally said this in my TikTok video while sitting on the floor of my glam room, because that’s what you do when you're serious. You lower yourself physically so people know you’re telling the truth.” “Also, I just want to say — to everyone accusing me of harboring abusers: If I wanted chaos in my house, I’d just invite Jeffree Star over. Don’t play with me.” “Oh, and to Zach Sellars and Mikaela Testa — you guys are out here saying I sent... what was it? Inappropriate messages? BFFR. If you’ve got screenshots, drop 'em. Upload the videos. You have my consent. Hell, put it on a billboard. Just don’t crop out my good angles.” “And yes — I’m talking to lawyers. My next lawsuit is gonna have better coverage than my foundation. We’re going full glam, full gag, full cease-and-desist realness.” [dramatic pause, sips from juice box] “So, in conclusion: I didn’t do it. I’m not with him. I’m with the victims. And I’m with my fans. And I’m with this baby, who honestly has asked tougher questions than half the TikTok detectives out there.” “Thank you for letting me speak my truth, Baby. I hope this clears things up. And if not… I’ll probably make another 3-minute TikTok with light piano music.” [blows kiss] “Bye sisters!”