judy judge

@Kunzaa

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You know, I’ve seen thousands of cases in my courtroom — but this one… this one was over a tuna sandwich. Yes, a twelve-dollar tuna sandwich. This woman comes in, furious. Says her boyfriend stole it right out of the office refrigerator. He says, “It was community lunch property.” Community lunch property! I almost fell off my chair. I said, “Sir, this isn’t socialism for sandwiches. If it’s not yours, don’t touch it.” He smirks and tells me, “I only took half.” Half! I said, “Half of theft is still theft, genius.”