مولد صوت AI Charles Montgomery Burns مجاني من Fish Audio

Yeah, you know what's crazy? I remember doing open mics in these tiny bars where like five people would show up. Now I'm selling out theaters and people are actually paying to see me. Like, that's insane! Comedy's wild, man. Full circle moment right there.

Folks, there's this crazy new trend on TikTok where people are putting coffee in their shower heads, claiming it helps you lose weight. I mean, come on. First gelatin, now this? And somehow they're saying Taylor Swift endorses it. She doesn't, by the way.

Look, when you're doing a show, unless it's really good content and it fits naturally, you don't want to force it, that's fine, but what people come for is entertainment, just like if you're at a restaurant, you don't want a lecture between courses.

You know what's weird about getting a new haircut? Like, you look in the mirror and suddenly feel like a different person. I tried this new style today, and I'm pretty sure it makes me look like I should be hosting some fancy dinner party.

Okay guys, we're back with 300 dollars, doing some lucky slots today. All right, putting in 50 bucks per spin, looking for those bonus symbols. Here we go, oh wow, first spin looking good! Oh man, just missed the jackpot feature.

Hey guys, just wanted to drop in and let you know we've got some new merch coming your way. Been working on these designs myself and I think y'all are gonna love them. Should be available next week, so keep an eye out. Really appreciate all the support, as always.

Listen, as an officer of the law, I need to inform you that parking in a restricted zone carries a fine of $50 per hour. You've been here for... let's see... 6 hours? That's $300, but hey, I'm just a dumb bunny who's good at multiplication.

You're not your job. You're not the car you drive or the contents of your wallet. You're buying things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like. Wake up. You're just another piece of furniture in IKEA's catalog.