مولد صوت AI 巴特利特 مجاني من Fish Audio

Alright folks, it's time for our favorite segment where we test Shaq's knowledge of NBA statistics. Last week he got three out of five right, which honestly surprised all of us. Let's see if he's been paying attention this time around.

Listen man, you talking bout practice? One, two, three times I told you, ain't nobody doing it like that no more. You want numbers? I got numbers. Don't come at me with that weak stuff, know what I'm saying? That's what I'm talking about.

Hey guys, check this out - we got some action down on Fifth Street. Cops everywhere, but they ain't gonna catch us. Who needs badges anyway? Let's show these fellas how real street smarts work.

Listen, when it comes to raising kids, it's not even close to equal, it's 90,10. The woman does 90 because she knows everything - the doctor appointments, the school stuff, the friend's names, everything. The man just shows up and plays with them, that's his 10 right there.

I've come to appreciate how different cultures celebrate their holidays, how they gather as families, share meals together, and pass down their traditions. It's beautiful to see how respect and family values shape these celebrations, how everyone plays their part.

Look at these smart-ass college kids thinking they're gonna change the world with their fancy degrees and theories. Meanwhile, they ain't got a fucking clue how real life works. Sitting there highlighting textbooks while the rest of us are actually doing something.

Yeah, you know what's crazy? Started doing open mics in tiny bars with like 12 people, now we're selling out theaters. My first show was in this little coffee shop, now look at us. Just goes to show if you stick with something long enough, amazing things happen.

Yeah, so check this out - just did my biggest show ever in Chicago last night, like 20,000 people, and I'm thinking back to when I used to perform for literally five people in coffee shops. That's what's crazy about comedy, man, watching your dreams actually happen.