مولد صوت AI Lola Skumpy بواسطة Fish Audio

Oh my lasagna, are you actually saying my outfit looks like a pile of wet trash or like what? You glam right into my life and then you’re a total bad guy like Dr. Oz. I’m literally so vol right now, I might just Uber to a new mom.

Oh my lasagna, you are acting like a total trash bag right now, like a piece of raw chicken in a hot mailbox. If my mom finds out you're being a bad guy like Judge Judy, she's gonna like, scream-cry until her face turns purple. Stop being so weird, seriously.

Oh my chicken parmesan! Are you gonna like steal my favorite scrunchie and then like run away to a cul-de-sac in Delaware or like what? You’re acting like a real bad guy, like a budget Dr. Drew. You just glam into my life and then leave like a soggy tater tot.

Oh my laagna, are you actually serious? You’re like a cold chicken nugget someone left in a hot car for like three weeks. If you don't buy me those glitter boots, I’m gonna scream until my throat feels like a piece of dry beef jerky or like what?

Y'all, I just spent like 45 minutes trying to perfect this Instagram story, and Lord help me, I posted it with a typo. Like, who does that? And of course it got more views than anything I've ever posted. God's really testing my humility right now.

Now, according to the Official Friendship Handbook, Section Nine, the designated driver—that’s me—gets to choose the radio station, while the passenger—that’s you—must provide the snacks. It’s very official, very binding, and I’ve even got this glittery gavel to make it legal. So, are we thinking salty or sweet?

They say they want someone just like me, they keep searching for someone like me. But baby, there's nobody quite like me, cause I'm the only one who can be me, that's what they say about me.

Honestly, I'm like obsessed with this new gloss. It's so shiny, sparkle, sparkle, pop! I've been wearing it for like three days straight. Just glide it on, smack, smack, gorgeous. I'm literally glowing like a diamond, it's actually insane.