مولد صوت AI Bill burr بواسطة Fish Audio

Listen, I remember trying to get into this restaurant booth, okay, and I'm talking about squeezing in like a sardine. The waitress is standing there, probably thinking "Should I get the butter?" Man, those were the days, but look at me now.

So I'm at this comedy club last night, right? And this girl in the front row, you know, she's like really into the show, laughing at everything. I'm thinking we've got this amazing connection, but then her husband starts heckling me, and I'm like, fucking perfect.

Being a dad means I’ll call my kids from across the house, or even from the driveway, just to have them hand me my phone that’s sitting two inches away. My back isn't what it used to be, and honestly, they need the exercise more than I do.

And then I'm going, going after it because that's where we need to be, you know? Like when I first saw the thing in the basement and then, and then it was there and I had to chase it, had to find out what happened.

This little boy was playing in the backyard when he saw his military dad coming home early from deployment, and he just froze there for a moment, then started running so fast towards him, and when they hugged, everyone around them started crying happy tears.

And then I saw it, like, right there in the basement and I'm going, going after it because that's where everything started, you know? And then my friends, they're with me and we're all just, we have to stop it, we have to.

This video went viral when this toddler tried to help her mom bake a cake, but something unexpected happened in the middle, because as she poured the flour, the dog sneezed and covered the whole kitchen in white, but luckily they caught the whole hilarious moment on camera.

Y'all won't believe what just happened at the drive-through. Asked for a vanilla latte, and the receipt says "vanilla lottery." My wife's like, "Well, at least they got vanilla right!" These coffee runs are becoming our daily entertainment show.