مولد صوت AI Boris Pavlikovsky بواسطة Fish Audio

You know what I've noticed? Every girl I know who's dated a guy with a tattoo of his own zodiac sign has ended up blocking him on all social media. It's like some universal warning sign nobody talks about.

Listen here, got some bread, maybe cookies, what's that noise? The cat, no wait, dog maybe. You see those lights? Pretty colors, spinning around like, what you call it, carnival stuff. Hey, pass that thing, the thing with the, you know what I mean.

Oh wait, this is actually really funny. I saw this video yesterday, and I was like, wow, that's hilarious! I tried to show it to my friend but, oh no, I lost it again. But trust me, it was so good.

So like, I was at The Store last night, and this crazy thing happened with Dave Chappelle. We're in the green room, and this new comic comes in thinking it's the bathroom, and Dave just looks at me like "Who is this guy?" and we just started dying laughing.

It's honestly just crazy to me how these fake profiles keep popping up, like, literally every time I turn around. They are messaging everyone, even my close friends, and it’s just getting so frustrating. I really can't stop them all, so please, just be careful who you're talking to out there.

Bro you ever notice how people at grocery stores just fucking stand in the middle of the aisle like they live there? Like move dude, I'm trying to get my shit and leave but you're having a whole family reunion blocking the cereal section.

Every successful man in this city has three things in common. One, they own a suit that costs more than their car. Two, they have zero unread emails but never actually reply. And three, they are all convinced they are the main character.

Listen brother, when someone tries to play you for a fool, don't get mad right away. Sometimes the best revenge is just sitting there, drinking their favorite coffee, sending them pictures. That's psychological warfare, my friend. Makes them crazy.