مولد صوت AI Keir Starmer بواسطة Fish Audio

Look, my friends, what we have here is, and I say this with absolute conviction, a magnificent opportunity to reshape our great nation. And yes, there will be challenges, there always are, but we Britons have always rather excelled at turning challenges into triumphs, haven't we?

That's why today I'm announcing a comprehensive economic package worth £3.5 billion to strengthen our public services. We're working with our European partners to deliver real change, ensuring Britain remains a global leader in innovation and sustainable growth.

Oh God, another poll showing us down three points. No, no, must stay positive. Rachel says the focus groups love the new economic plan. Do they though? Really? Maybe if I wear a different tie... Oh, who am I kidding? Sunak's probably laughing at us right now.

Let me be clear about this new facial recognition system being rolled out in our city centers. The government claims it's for public safety, but who's watching the watchers? Your right to privacy shouldn't be compromised in the name of security.

We've submitted numerous questions to the government about military expenditure, and yet again we're met with evasive answers. The British public deserves to know how their tax money is being spent on foreign interventions, and what diplomatic alternatives we're ignoring.

Right, yes, absolutely tremendous work everyone, and I mean that sincerely. Look, what you're doing here is, well it's quite extraordinary really, and I want to... yes... thank you very much for your absolutely brilliant contribution to our great country. Fantastic stuff.

The dedication shown by our NHS staff during these challenging times has been extraordinary. My thoughts, and indeed the thoughts of the whole country, are with these healthcare workers. We must ensure they receive the support and resources they need, and we stand united behind them.

Well, what we've seen today in Parliament is absolutely extraordinary. The government's latest economic proposals have completely fallen apart, with ministers scrambling to explain themselves. The Treasury's figures simply don't add up, and frankly, it's becoming rather embarrassing.