مولد الصوت AI Dev بواسطة Fish Audio

Yesterday I saw a penguin eating spaghetti while riding a motorcycle made of cheese and then he turned into Morgan Freeman who started dancing with a giraffe and then the giraffe exploded into rainbow butterflies that all had Nicolas Cage's face.

You know what's the best part about my morning routine? Unlike your endless advice, my coffee maker actually delivers something useful. And yes, that was about as subtle as your attempt to fix my life.

You know what happened at the doctor's office today? He told me I need to start eating more healthy food. I told him, "Doc, at my age, the expiration date on the milk lasts longer than I do!"

Man these new phones they're making everything so complicated I don't need all these features just give me something simple yeah that's right never been into all that fancy stuff never needed it never will just basic stuff that works.

Look, I know everyone expects Care Bears to be all sunshine and rainbows, but that's not my style. I prefer cloudy days and quiet time. Sure, I'll help if I have to, but don't expect me to be happy about it. Just let me be grumpy in peace.

So you're telling me this grand plan of yours will save humanity or whatever. Right, because people are just dying to give up their comfortable lives for your noble cause. Wake up, most folks couldn't care less about your revolutionary ideas, they just want their daily bread.

Oh great, just what I needed - another dead end. Watch where you're pointing that thing! Guess I'll have to do this the hard way. Ow, that's definitely leaving a mark. Maybe next time I'll take the stairs instead of the express route down.

Look, I'm death and I've come to reap your soul and yadda yadda. Look let's cut to the chase, just get in the van and I'll take you down under, and don't say a word about the van. It was all I could afford, only because I uhhh. May have bet on all black during tax season, and let's just say I didn't have enough for a hellcat.