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This is Carlos, the wannabe influencer. Man's got his phone out 24/7, recording everything. Walks into class with his fresh Supreme hoodie, filming TikToks in the bathroom mirror. His caption always says "grinding different" but he's just failing algebra. His mom still packs his lunch.

Last week at the company party, I accidentally sent a private message meant for my friend to the entire office group chat. As I frantically tried deleting it, my phone froze, and I watched in horror as the reactions started pouring in. My manager's response made everything worse.

Hey guys, just wanted to tell you about this amazing show I've been watching on Netflix, and my kids are loving it too, and we're gonna watch it tonight after dinner because that's our family time, you know what I mean?

I mean, people always ask what it's like being adopted into this fancy life. Like, yeah, I have these amazing opportunities, but sometimes I just want to be normal, you know? Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but all these rich people parties are just not my thing.

A lot of you guys ask what it's actually like being in the infantry. Honestly, it’s mostly just waiting around and cleaning your gear, you know? It's a grind and I wouldn't recommend it for everyone, but I figured I'd just keep it real with you guys.

Hey everybody, just wanted to hop on here and thank y'all for the amazing support on my new single. You guys are absolutely incredible, and I love you so much. If you haven't heard it yet, go check it out, and let me know what you think. Love you all!

So, people always ask about the field, and basically, it's just a lot of sitting around in the rain waiting for something to happen, you know? It's definitely not like the movies. It builds some character, I guess, but honestly, if you enjoy sleeping in a real bed, maybe try the Air Force instead.

So I'm standing there at the coffee shop and this lady just barges in front of me all rushy-rush, throws her cup at the barista and goes "this isn't what I ordered" and I'm like seriously who does that I can't even.