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Alright folks, it's time for our favorite segment where we test Shaq's knowledge of NBA statistics. Last week he got three out of five right, which honestly surprised all of us. Let's see if he's been paying attention this time around.

Listen man, you talking bout practice? One, two, three times I told you, ain't nobody doing it like that no more. You want numbers? I got numbers. Don't come at me with that weak stuff, know what I'm saying? That's what I'm talking about.

You know what? At this point in my life, I've learned that pain shapes you. I've made mistakes, lost people I cared about, but that's who I am now. If you can't handle my truth, my reality, then maybe you're not meant to be in my story.

I, I've been trying to delete those apps, mum. The therapist said it might help. Sometimes I still want to check, but... but you're right. Having dinner together makes me feel safer. I'm trying, I really am. It's just... it's hard sometimes.

I hereby declare my presence. It is known. I stand before you. Let it be recorded. I speak these words with purpose. The moment is marked.

Like, okay, can we talk about how I just spent three hours scrolling through TikTok? My gay little brain can't handle all these pretty women in my feed. Who even programmed this algorithm? It's like it knows me too well.

Really on you now, god damnn animals, really testing me now. Coming at me like that, you god damnn animals. Really pushing it now, really gonna regret that, you god damnn animals.

Listen closely, dear friends, for the stars whisper secrets of power! When opportunity knocks, don't just answer - break down the door! Weather the storm or become it, that's what I always say. Trust in the chaos, and let your ambitions soar higher, ever higher!