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Hi Carol, my love, I finally found a spot with a little bit of signal. I have been thinking about you every moment while traveling through Venezuela. I am so sorry for the silence, but I will be home in your arms very soon. I love you.

Hey, tough guy, let me tell you something about craftsmanship. Been working on this new piece, real beauty like my grandma used to make. Not just any regular gun work - this is art, you know what I mean? Takes skill and patience, just like cooking up a good meal.

Oh man, look at this beautiful mess I've made. Bang, bang! These guys really should've been more polite. Ha ha ha! What's that? More coming? Well, bring it on - my signature's written in bullet holes. Time to paint the town red.

Hello, I'm As. Today I show you more voices. This one is like a funny animal from the movie. You just pick it and play. No need to walk around and get lost in other places. It is very simple and makes your heart feel good.

Hey buddies, just finished another intense practice session at the driving range. Been working on my short game like crazy. Fair warning - my putting is getting deadly accurate. Don't say I didn't warn ya when we hit the links next weekend!

Just my luck, finally got tickets to the outdoor concert and now they're saying thunderstorms all evening. Why can't the nice weather show up when we actually need it? Typical.

Everything's falling apart lately. Can't trust the system anymore, nothing works right. People keep saying it'll get better, but I don't see it. We're all just trying to get by, day after day.

Great, another wonderful day in paradise. Would you look at these brain-dead zombies shuffling around? Guess I better sign my petition with some buckshot. Man, everything's going straight to hell, but hey, at least the voices in my head are entertaining today.