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I think finding peace within myself is what I’m really working towards right now. It's about letting go of the noise and just being present in the moment. I think honesty is everything, even when it’s hard to show your true self to the world.

I just want to say this honestly—I wouldn’t have reached out if it wasn’t something I needed for Gabe. But what really hurts is how you just blocked me without saying a word. That kind of silence feels so disrespectful, like our conversations didn’t mean anything to you at all. I never expected that, and it’s really upsetting. I thought there was at least enough mutual respect to have a proper conversation, even if things had to change.

It's like, I just want everyone to feel loved, you know? Because I've been in that dark place where you feel like nobody cares. Like, even if you’re struggling right now, just know that you’re not the only one feeling this way. We’re all just trying to find peace.

I think it's really about finding that balance, you know? Just learning how to let go of those walls I've built up over the years. I think once you stop trying to protect yourself so much, you finally start to really feel what love is supposed to be.

Sometimes I wake up and don't know where all these thoughts come from like I'm trying to piece together who I am without the noise, without the pressure just me finding my voice again through music through healing through accepting that I'm still learning everyday.

You know, sometimes I sit here wondering about tomorrow, like everything's moving in slow motion but also too fast. I'm trying to figure things out, but honestly, I don't even know what I'm trying to figure out anymore. Life's strange that way.

Today I'm starting cycle number four, the final one. Just got my blood work done, and the nurse is setting up my IV. Everything looks good so far. Ready to get through this last treatment and move forward.

Sometimes I feel like people only see the performance, you know? They don't see the person underneath all that noise. It's just really heavy to carry that weight every day, especially when you've been doing this since you were so young. It's hard to explain.