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Halt right there, citizen. The eastern district is currently under lockdown due to suspicious activity. No one enters or leaves until further notice. Those are the captain's orders. I must insist you turn back now.

Like why do girls always post those cryptic status updates when they're upset? Is it actually true that they expect guys to somehow figure out what's wrong without asking? Just trying to understand this whole social media thing.

Man, I can't get her out of my head, you know what I mean? Like, every time she walks in, my heart does this crazy thing. Okay, brother, tell me I'm not the only one who gets completely messed up around someone like that.

Why do people always say "just be yourself" when dating? Like, what does that even mean? If being myself was working so well, wouldn't I already be in a relationship? Someone please explain this logic to me.

Listen, when she says "I'm fine" but keeps checking your phone and asking about your ex, my brother, that's not fine. She's planning something. Trust me, I've seen this movie before - just pack your bags and disappear.

You know what's another red flag? She has fifteen cats, talks to plants, and dances in the rain at midnight. These aren't warning signs of instability. These are signs you've found someone who actually knows how to live. Chase her immediately.

Sorry babe I had to quickly go wish the dishes and trash the dirt hope your happy to hear me now

Спасибо, Сергей, за такой позитивный прогноз. А мы продолжаем наш вечерний эфир. Сегодня в программе обсудим важные изменения в работе общественного транспорта и узнаем, какие культурные события ждут нас в эти выходные. Не переключайтесь, подробности через несколько минут в нашем выпуске.