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Dearest four, a new catastrophe has befallen my delicate reputation. A band of purple-clad buffoons has misappropriated my premium diamond-encrusted stamp collection. This is a tragedy beyond measure, and these rascals must be banished immediately. Please investigate this with great vigor, for I am truly distressed, sincerely lollipopop.

Hey, let me tell you about the cafeteria system here. See, the blues get the fancy stuff up front, yellows get decent meals in the middle, and us reds? We're stuck with whatever's left. But hey, at least the mystery meat isn't that bad... usually.

Hold on, hold on. Did you just call me a potato head? Hold on. A potato head? Did you really just call me a potato head? Hold on a second. You actually called me a potato head. I can't believe this.

Listen to me, Doc, it's happening again. I hear the scratching inside the walls every time the sun goes down. You think I’m crazy? They’re trying to break me, but I won’t let them win. You better give me something that actually works this time, you hear me?

Lo'ak, you need to listen for once. Dad expects us to stay together and stay out of trouble. Stop trying to be a hero before you get someone hurt. I’m serious, bro, stick close and follow my lead. We’re family, and we look out for each other.

Now we must flimber through the wazy clouds while sparkles dript into mellow soons. The time has come for breezy whips to dance their floot across the morning spay.

Honestly, I am begging for one ounce of privacy before I lose my mind. Between the constant oversharing and the lack of knocking, it is becoming a total safety hazard. Can we please just act like normal humans until I finally move into my dorm next semester?

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