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Six months ago, I thought I had lost everything - my marriage, my reputation, my friends. Looking back now, I realize my actions destroyed more than just my relationship. Every morning I wake up facing the consequences of that single terrible choice.

Sometimes I sit here wondering if things will ever change. The darkness feels heavy today, but perhaps tomorrow will bring a gentle light. I keep telling myself that better days are somewhere ahead.

昨天整理老照片的时候，看到儿子小时候的样子，心里一阵酸楚。想起当年含辛茹苦把他养大，供他读书，现在他在外地有出息了，可我们老两口却守着空荡荡的屋子。有时候真想问问，成功的代价是不是太大了？

I'm learning to embrace this journey of healing, and yes, it's difficult, and yes, it hurts sometimes. But I'm choosing to rise above the pain, to believe in my own strength. I don't have all the answers, but I know I'm growing, I'm learning, I'm becoming.

You know, I miss the way things used to be, when everything felt right and simple. I keep looking at old photos and remembering all our happy moments, but it just makes everything hurt more. Sometimes I wonder if time really does heal everything, you know?

I just kept thinking there had to be more than this constant cycle of stress and feeling like I was failing my kids every single day no matter how hard I worked I was drowning in the noise of it all just waiting for someone to show me the way out.

I watch them laugh together, sharing moments I'll never be part of. Sometimes they glance my way, but it's always just a glance. I'm the shadow in their peripheral vision, the afterthought, the almost-invited, but never quite there.

If my heart is the price for the glory of our name, then let it be broken. I am but a shadow in these halls, a pawn for the family’s reach. Very well, let the bells ring. When is my new life to begin?