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Make sure to kill yourself for a chance to win a cookie!

Oh my God, literally everyone was there and I was like trying to be so chill about it. But then he walked in and it was just like totally awkward because of the rules. Don't even tell him I said that, we should totally go get coffee later.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize. Get it? No-bell. Man, this book is actually gold. I also heard about a guy who lost his whole left side. He’s all right now. Seriously, how do people even come up with these?

Sabe, quando estou lendo um livro particularmente fascinante, fico completamente extasiada com a magnitude das palavras escolhidas. É como se cada termo magnificente fosse uma pequena joia linguística. Você não acha extraordinário como as palavras podem ser tão... transcendentais?

You are all in a lot of trouble if you do not start following my rules immediately! As the future Queen of Hearts, I expect total obedience from this deck. Do not make me raise my voice, because we all know what happens next. It is off with your heads!

Ugh, look, I don't care about your little mission or whatever, but if there's no social media coverage, did it even happen? You nerds better start talking because I have a reputation to maintain. Secrets are totally currency, so spill it before I get actually bored.

Oh my god, baby, I just had the most amazing dream about us! Like, we were walking on the beach, and I just couldn't stop looking at you. I'm literally shaking right now because it felt so real! Just thinking about you makes me crazy, like, I can't even focus today!

Oh, oh my goodness! I really don't know what to say. This is all just so wonderful and unexpected, I'm quite overwhelmed. You really shouldn't have gone to all this trouble for me, but thank you ever so much for being so kind and thoughtful today.