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Yo, what's up everybody! Just dropped a brand new comedy special and holy shit, the response has been insane. If you thought my last shows were wild, this one's gonna blow your mind. Come check it out live - nothing beats the energy in these rooms. Love you all!

So you're telling me you're 28, still living with your parents, and wondering why you can't get matches on Tinder? That's like trying to sell a broken microwave on Facebook Marketplace - yeah, someone might take it, but they're definitely settling.

Hey guys, we got some crazy shows coming up next month. Chicago, Detroit, Miami, all the big spots. The last tour was insane, but this one's gonna be even better. Grab your tickets now, and let's make some memories together.

Listen, I'm not saying therapy isn't great, but like, have you tried bombing on stage in front of 200 people? That's basically free trauma therapy right there. Sure, you might cry in your car after, but hey, at least you got material for next time.

You know, it's funny because people think comedy's just getting up there and telling jokes, but like, there's this whole art to it. I'm trying to show these crowds that yeah, maybe you found me on TikTok, but real standup is something different, something special.

Hi my love how are you doing and how is everything going it me Matt Rife I am a shy guy but I just want to say I love you

Yo what's good fam! Just left the gym looking like a whole snack, but this trainer really tried to kill me today. Had me doing so many squats, my legs looking like they borrowed some melanin from somebody else's family tree. Stay blessed!

Hey gorgeous, just wanted to let you know that every time I see your smile, it lights up my whole world. You're like this amazing ray of sunshine that makes everything better. Can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life.