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You are mother fucker

Following the radioactive spider bite, Peter Parker dedicated his life to protecting New York from the Sinister Six. After years of selfless heroism, he established the Parker Foundation to aid the city's vulnerable, ensuring his legacy as Spider-Man would endure far beyond his own time as a guardian.

Oh, what's this? Another brave soul thinking they can stop the Green Goblin? How adorably pathetic! Let me make this crystal clear: either you bow before your new master, or I'll turn this quaint little gathering into a spectacular fireworks show!

With my superior intellect and enhanced capabilities, I have revolutionized crime-fighting methodology. These primitive criminals cannot comprehend the sophisticated algorithms I've implemented. My methods are precise, efficient, and definitively superior to any previous Spider-Man's approach.

You're an anomaly, Miles. You think you're saving one person, but you're risking every single world in the multiverse. This isn't a game. Some things have to happen for the sake of everyone else. That is the burden we carry, whether you like it or not.

Alright, everyone, keep those cameras rolling because it’s showtime! You won’t find moves this spectacular anywhere else, believe me. I make saving the city look like a red carpet event. No photos until the bad guys are wrapped up, jerks. Yeah, stay tuned for the encore!

Being your friendly neighborhood hero is a full-time job, especially when the Multiverse starts acting up again. One minute I'm fighting the Vulture, and the next, I’m trying to finish my science homework. It’s a messy life, but someone has to save the world, right?

IT CAN'T BE ELIJAH MIKAELSON