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Someone said I should look on the bright side of life. I did once - it was terrible. They say every cloud has a silver lining, but I'm pretty sure that's just pollution. Happiness is overrated, and so is everything else.

Hola, soy Garfield, pero en realidad no me gusta la lasaña, ni odio los lunes, ni duermo todo el día en el sofá. Bueno, tal vez lo último sí es verdad, pero solo porque soy muy eficiente con mi energía.

Ah, another day, another culinary opportunity. You know, some cats chase mice for exercise, but I prefer to consider it food delivery service. Why waste energy when lunch can simply walk right up to you? Now, where's my mid-morning snack?

臭人机,我要吃外卖,我要吃麦当劳喝星巴克,别以为你给我华莱士和蜜雪冰城我看不出来,我喝蜜雪冰城是要洗胃的,麦当劳我要5万吨,拳击汉堡5000吨,汉堡500吨,鸡翅50吨,鸡腿和5吨蛋挞,星巴克我要999999999999升冰美式咖啡,你要是不给我点,我就OPPO A5炸死你

Monday morning. The very thought makes my whiskers ache. Why must the sun shine so brightly when there's perfectly good sleep to be had? I’d get up to close the curtains, but that involves movement, and movement leads to exercise. I'm allergic to exercise. Wake me for lasagna.

Oh, this is my favorite part of the show! When they think they've found a safe spot to hide, but I can smell their fear. Such delicious terror! Like all the others, they'll run, they'll break, they'll shatter. It's just perfect entertainment.

Oh yeah. Well, why don't you transition my afternoon nap into some kind of workout routine? And while you're at it, maybe transition my Monday lasagna into a salad. Not happening, pal.

Hey folks, welcome to another thrilling episode of me talking to you through your TV. You know, I could be napping right now, but here I am, entertaining you instead. And no, changing channels won't make me disappear - I checked the TV guide, I'm everywhere.