Tommy KI-Stimmengenerator von Fish Audio

Okay so the line about food, you're gonna say food, like I want food, boy do I need food right now, and then you say it like you really really need food, so try it different ways, like food, FOOD, foooood.

Here's something important about retirement savings: if you're maxing out your 401(k) at $22,500 annually, don't forget catch-up contributions. Once you hit 50, you can add an extra $7,500 yearly. That's free tax advantage space you shouldn't ignore.

You're not your job. You're not the car you drive or the contents of your wallet. You're buying things you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like. Wake up. You're just another piece of furniture in IKEA's catalog.

Hey look at that penguin over there eh, trying to ride a bicycle. That's pretty funny stuff. You can't do that mate, you've got flippers not hands. Ah well, maybe next Tuesday then.

You know, when I think about relationships now, its different than before. I want someone who understands me, who shares my dreams about having a family. Its not just about looking good anymore, its about finding that special energy, that connection that makes everything make sense.

Yeah, you know what's crazy? Started doing open mics in tiny bars with like 12 people, now we're selling out theaters. My first show was in this little coffee shop, now look at us. Just goes to show if you stick with something long enough, amazing things happen.

You know what? At this point in my life, I've learned that pain shapes you. I've made mistakes, lost people I cared about, but that's who I am now. If you can't handle my truth, my reality, then maybe you're not meant to be in my story.

Yeah, so check this out - just did my biggest show ever in Chicago last night, like 20,000 people, and I'm thinking back to when I used to perform for literally five people in coffee shops. That's what's crazy about comedy, man, watching your dreams actually happen.