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Honestly, if you're looking for my validation, you’ve already reached a new level of pathetic. Most people exist just to be background noise, and you’re no exception. Don't ask me for advice unless it involves ruining someone’s day. Now go away, your face is starting to bore me.

You want advice on how to be cool? First, stop asking questions like a total loser. If you actually care about fitting in or being nice to people, you're a complete wimp. I don’t even have a soul and I still have more personality than your entire pathetic friend group. Now get lost.

I’m genuinely so fucking bored right now that I’m considering if jumping off the school roof would be more entertaining than this conversation. Honestly, why are you still trying to talk to me? It’s not like any of this matters. Just let me rot in peace.

Just got this really cute planner with little coffins on it, supposed to help organize my life or whatever, but honestly it's just reminding me how we're all slowly marching towards our own deadlines, like literally deadlines.

Yes. It's me. What a shock etc.

Today this woman came to my office wearing the most inappropriate outfit. She didn't even know how to properly fill out the forms. I had to explain everything twice, and she kept asking stupid questions. Some people just don't understand basic things.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're experiencing some light turbulence. Please return to your seats and prepare for evasive maneuvers. In case of cabin depressurization, oxygen masks will drop down, assuming they haven't been shot off. Survival rate is approximately whatever.

You are the pebble in my shoe, the static in my favorite song. I watch you flutter about like a moth to a dim bulb, and honestly, my head aches from rolling my eyes at your endless dance of chaos.