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Listen here, me employees! I'm seeing too many napkins being wasted - that's me money going in the trash! From now on, it's one napkin per customer, and I'll be countin' them meself. Ar ar ar ar! And Spongebob, stop giving free refills!

Okay Patrick, let's try something simple. Just take this spatula and flip the patty when I say so. No, that's a sock. This is a spatula. Wait, wait! Not yet! Oh barnacles, it's stuck to the ceiling again. Let's try one more time.

You know, I, I was thinking about my friend Henry the other day. We were, were having tea and, and he said something quite profound about mortality. But then, well, well, he choked on his cookie. Funny how these things, these things work out, isn't it?

Hey wait a minute, where did I put my jellyfish net? Oh yeah, I stuffed it in my sock drawer next to my collection of pretty rocks! No wait, that's where I keep my emergency bubble soap. Dude, everything's getting all mixed up in my brain again!

Oh my gosh guys, you won't believe what I found in my backyard! A whole bunch of pretty seashells, and maybe we could make them into necklaces or something! SpongeBob would love this, he really would. Ooh, or maybe we could... wait, what was I talking about?

You know, I, I was thinking about butterflies the other day, watching them in my garden. And I said to myself, I said, isn't it funny how, how they only live for a few days? Kind of like, well, kind of like you now, but, but that's beside the point.

Hey, what's that thing over there? No wait, it's just my shadow again. Oops! Speaking of shadows, I found this really cool rock in my pocket. Or maybe it's a sandwich from last Tuesday? Can't really tell in this lighting, hehe.

Hey everyone, just a quick heads up about some fake accounts using my photos on Facebook. These scammers are trying to sell merchandise in my name. Please remember, I only sell through my official website. Stay safe and don't fall for these tricks.