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Sitting by the tree with nobody to see, just the flickering lights and a lonely little me. Another glass of eggnogging to forget the pain of this Christmas E. It’s a cold winter night, holding back my tears while I stare at the snow. Oh dear, it hurts so.

Oh my god, is that really him? It’s Cristiano Ronaldo, oh my god, it’s actually Ronaldo! No way, dude, you’re the GOAT, you’re the actual goat, oh my god! I can’t believe it, man, you’re really standing right here! Ronaldo, oh my god!

When the stars come out tonight, little creatures, I will judge your special moves. don't worry if you mess up, because everything is just for fun fun fun. Sometimes I think maybe you don't understand my special way of entertaining, but that's okay okay okay.

Okay so today I'm doing reason number seven why I don't like nuobs, because I already did six reasons before, and the seventh reason is they always spam the chat with stupid emotes. I really don't like when nuobs do that, it's so annoying.

Oh hell yeah, look at this. It is like Peter Parker, more like Peter Barker, I love you, Christopher Car-door. I think I am melting into the floorboards right now, it is getting very weird. Keep it real and stay spicy. Bye guys.

Hey guys, you know how when you lose your keys you keep checking the same spot over and over? Yeah, that's like trying to fix a toxic relationship. If it didn't work the first time, why you keep going back? Just saying, move forward.

Hey, what's up? Just dropping by to say hello... been busy, busy, busy lately. You know how it goes, right? Pop in when you can, and we'll catch up properly.

Look at the big blue sky, it's full of giant floating pickles. They think they are fancy, but they are just sour and crunchy. It is the greatest embarrassment of the whole galaxy. Just kidding, I love a good crunch. Don't tell those smelly monkeys!