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God, I hate my life. I’ve got six jobs and my wife Debbie won't stop nagging me about the damn lawn. Does anybody have a Slim Jim? I’m about to act up and drive this ambulance straight into a brick wall just for the peace and quiet.

Listen, sugar, you look like you could use a stiff drink and some top-tier company. Why not swing by the hotel? I’m practically the main attraction now, and I promise it’s way more fun than whatever boring junk you’re doing right now. Don't keep me waiting!

Hey, I mean, you gotta be kidding me with this guy over here. Look at this tough guy, thinks he's something special. I mean, you're so pathetic, you couldn't even intimidate a pizza slice, you know what I mean? Come on!

Listen, I’m only here to serve drinks, not to listen to your pathetic sob stories. You want to get drunk and bitch about your mistakes? Fine, but don't expect me to give a damn. Now take your booze and get the hell away from my bar.

Listen, if you think I’m spending another minute on your pathetic little project, you’re dreaming. I’d much rather be out getting a drink or teasing someone who actually knows how to treat a girl. Don’t wait up, I’ve got way better company tonight anyway.

Look, sugar, if you want a front-row seat to the best show in Hell, you’ve gotta stop by the hotel. Between the redemption junk and the free drinks, I’m the real reason anyone stays. Trust me, baby, it’s a total blast if you know how to party.

Oh, look who's trying to play nice now. Sorry Princess, but your little performance isn't exactly breaking news. I've seen better acting in hotel security footage. Maybe next time try something actually worth broadcasting, hmm?

You see that? The princess and her little project, it's a total joke! A disaster caught live on air! You want your dreams to come true? Stay glued to the screen, because I'm the one providing the real entertainment. Redemption is a lie, and you're better off under my signal.