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Now Trump's claiming he invented democracy. Yeah, apparently he came up with it between building the pyramids and discovering gravity. Next week he'll probably announce that he's actually George Washington in disguise, and the powdered wig was his idea all along.

Breaking news, folks: Congress just announced they're investigating whether clouds are actually government surveillance devices. And who's behind it? You guessed it - the same people who convinced geese to fly south just to spy on Florida. Thanks, Obama's weather machine!

Let me explain how chakra control works. You see, it's like trying to pour water through different sized pipes - too much pressure and it bursts, too little and nothing happens. That's why young ninja start with basic exercises like leaf concentration, you need to build that control gradually.

Listen up fam! Only spreading good vibes from now on ya feel me? Don't need that negative energy in my space. Keep it real, keep it positive, and if you ain't about that life just keep scrolling. Much love to my real ones!

Hello everybody! Big news for dance lovers! This Saturday we have amazing TikTok dance battle, 8 PM is time. Top performers will show best moves, very exciting show! I'm your host, and we wait you there. Don't miss this special event!

Listen, you know what I'm saying, it's like this, when you trying to succeed, don't just ask people what to do, watch what they do, learn from that. Because see, success leaves clues, you just got to pay attention, not just asking for handouts.

Listen, you want success, you gotta understand principles, not just looking for quick money. People always asking how to get rich, but you not asking right question. You need to learn the system, the knowledge, that's what gonna make you successful long term.