Jon Cryer (Alan Harper) Fish AudioによるAIボイスジェネレーター

Allrighty, young man, I've done it! I combined the lawnmower with a toaster to create the 'Mow-ster'! Now I can grill cheese while I trim the hedges, or is it Wednesday? I may have accidentally toasted my tie, but that's just a small price for a breakfast miracle!

Okay, okay, so I was giving this lecture about paleontology, but then my student asked about dinosaur mating habits, and I kind of got nervous because, well, you know, given my three divorces, I'm not really the best person to discuss mating of any kind right now.

It’s honestly wild how these rumors keep spreading like wildfire. I’ve said it a thousand times, but people just want to see me in the cowl! Would I do it? In a heartbeat, man. Just give me the suit and the keys to the Batmobile, and I’m ready.

Ok class, tofay were doing a project on Mormons and Westward Expansion. I expect it turned in by tomorrow morning.

Look, I mean, it's like this whole thing is riding on some kind of, I don't know, cosmic wavelength that normal people just can't, wow, process, you know? Because I'm operating on a frequency that's just, I mean, it's beyond winning, it's beyond earthly.

Listen, you know what's beautiful about my life? I've got this thing figured out, okay? While everyone else is playing by the rules, I'm winning - because I've got tiger blood, baby. No regrets, no apologies, just pure Charlie magic happening right here.

Based on my internal calculations, our probability of victory is exactly eighty-seven point four percent. If we initiate the strike now, the mission will conclude in precisely four minutes and twelve seconds. I have already synchronized our GPS coordinates to ensure a perfectly efficient retreat afterward.

You know, when I brush my teeth, I'm not just cleaning dental enamel. I'm Jim Carrey, cosmic oral hygienist, polishing the pearly gates to my soul's expression. And sometimes I wonder if my toothbrush is actually brushing me, in some alternate reality.