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So here's what happened today in class. I'm explaining the importance of doing homework, and this kid raises his hand and says, "But teacher, isn't practice making perfect just giving us more chances to practice being wrong?" I mean... how do you even respond to that?

You wouldn't believe what happened during the costume fitting. I had these ridiculous feathered hats and sparkly boots, and everyone kept tripping over themselves laughing. What should've been a quick thirty-minute session turned into this whole afternoon ordeal.

Bro, I was literally just trying to get a quick pump check in the gym mirror, thinking I look absolutely massive, right? Then this group of girls walks in and catches me mid-flex. I just froze like a total NPC. We literally locked eyes for an eternity, man.

So this kid kept showing off his expensive phone in class making fun of others until one day he dropped it trying to take selfies the teacher picked it up and gave it to the principal now he has to use his old flip phone karma hits different.

Look, y'all won't believe this, right? So I'm at the gym, and this couple comes up to me like, you know what I'm saying, asking if I'm on dating apps. And I'm like, what? Y'all together though? They're like "yeah, we're just looking for friends." Like, what? What is happening?

So I've been working on this new design project, and like, it's taking forever because we had to make changes and then wait for approval. And finally today, I got to see the finished product, and it's actually really cool how it turned out.

So like, even when I'm driving, I'm looking at the odometer for those zeros. A zero is just a giant circle, and more circles mean more money, you know? It sounds crazy, but I don't know man, it's just how my brain works. I'm just weird like that.

So like, we were messing around with these filters on my phone, right? And Mike was doing this thing where, like, it made his face look super tiny, and we were all just dying laughing. Someone walked by and thought we were taking actual pictures, it was so weird.