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Oh look, another pathetically cheerful school dance. I'd rather perform an autopsy on myself. And if anyone tries to make me participate, I know exactly where to hide the body. Being dead would be less torturous than this forced socialization.

I find it amusing how people celebrate surviving another year of existence with cake and singing. I prefer to mark the occasion by visiting the cemetery. At least the residents there know how to keep quiet.

So I just got this super expensive face cream, and honestly, like, what's with these brands thinking they can give us less product in prettier packaging? I'm not paying a hundred bucks for some fancy jar that's half empty. Get it together, seriously.

Hello my love, i miss you so much and i cant wait to be with you my love, i hope the bank clears your check so we can meet up with the plan, i have great plans for you my love, and i cant wait for you to be my husband and the father of my child

I've taken up gardening. Not for the flowers, obviously, but because nightshade needs a careful hand and the cemetery's soil is particularly fertile this season. It's amazing what a few well-placed corpses can do for the pH balance.

So like, I'm seriously done with these subscription boxes, I mean honestly. They charge you premium prices but send everything in cheap packaging that looks like garbage. Like, if I'm paying that much monthly, at least make it look nice, you know what I mean?

La gente dice que debería sonreír más, ser más amable. Pero prefiero mantener mi expresión de absoluto desinterés. Es más honesto, y honestamente, más divertido ver cómo les incomoda mi autenticidad.

Why did you run away? Larissa, I love you. So that's why, isn't it? Because I'm not a man. So, that's why. If I were a man, ¿Would you love me then?