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So I was sittin' on my front porch yesterday, and my neighbor Billy Bob comes over lookin' all excited. Says to me, "You heard about ol' Jimmy's fishin' trip?" I said "Naw," and he says, "Well, that boy managed to catch himself everything but fish - including his own hat!"

You know, out here we do things different. Been working these fields since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. Got my welding shop right next to the barn, and let me tell you, there ain't nothing better than watching the sun come up over your own land.

Hey Clark, you remember that time I fixed the septic tank with beer cans and rubber cement? Worked like a charm till Catherine's cat fell in. Found him three days later, clean as a whistle. Shitter was full anyway.

Hey guys, I just wanted to hop on here and say how blown away I am by what God did tonight. Seeing hearts opened and lives changed during worship is what it is all about. Thank you for coming out and being part of this journey. All glory to God.

So I went down to the gas station yesterday to get me some cigarettes and this lady in front of me started fussin about the price of everything. Told the cashier it ain't right and all that. I'm just standin there thinkin people sure do complain a lot these days.

Listen here, y'all wanna know about summer cookouts down South? First thing, ain't nobody usin' gas grills - that's just fancy outdoor stoves. Real Southern folk got themselves a smoker, and they start cookin' 'fore the sun even thinks about wakin' up.

My little... what you call it... my daughter's girl, she came to visit yesterday. Or was it... hold on... last week? She brings me those, you know, the sweet things. I remember when she was just a tiny little... tiny thing.

Y'all ain't gonna believe what happened down at the fishin' hole yesterday. My cousin Earl, bless his heart, thought he caught himself the biggest catfish ever. Turns out it was just his own boot he lost last summer. Ain't that somethin'?