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Honestly, that red carpet look was literally everything, like 10 out of 10. I just don't get why she decided to wear those tragic shoes with it. It was so stupid. Why, why would you ruin a perfect moment like that? Just why.

Hey Democrats, thanks for making my new song trend again. You guys are really good at being bad at things. Number one in terrible policies, number one in failed leadership, and now number one in accidentally promoting conservative music. Keep up the great work!

Hi sisters! Today we're diving into this AMAZING new foundation that's been breaking the internet! Baby, let me tell you, I've been testing this for weeks and the coverage is absolutely EVERYTHING! The formula is giving glass skin realness, and I'm obsessed!

So I'm at this family reunion, right? And my little cousin comes up to me and says, "Why do you walk like that?" And I'm like, honey, this isn't walking, this is a runway show that's been perfected since third grade theater class. My mom just rolls her eyes like, "Here we go again."

Like why the fuck do these apps keep changing their whole layout every two weeks? Nobody asked for this shit. Just leave it how it was, we already knew how to use it. Stop trying to fix what isn't broken.

Look, I’m still sounding like a total wreck, but we’re pushing through because the grind never stops. I’m opening your packages with a literal plastic spoon right now because I’m a dip shit, but holy shit, you guys are incredible. Short videos, big heart, and way too much dust.

Yo yo, I mean listen, you know what I'm saying, my boy just dropped this new thing online and I ain't trying to cause no problems but shout out to the whole team, you feel me? That's just how we do it, keeping it real with the family.