Danewit
von danewit danielInstant Noodles Governance: The Nigerian Dream of Overnight Dubai
For most Nigerians, good governance is not about building systems or fixing institutions. It is about magic. They want the man sworn in today to wake up tomorrow, wave his biro like a wand, and suddenly Nigeria becomes Dubai before the next fuel scarcity. Lagos to Abuja roads should transform into German autobahns overnight. NEPA should disappear in 48 hours. The dollar must humble itself before the naira like a prodigal son saying Daddy I am sorry. Rice should sell for fifty naira per bag, with no thought for the three decades of looting and economic recklessness still hanging over us like an unpaid PHCN bill.
To be fair, it is not entirely the people’s fault. Politicians know Nigerians are hungry for instant miracles, so they exploit it. They appear on campaign stages with sugar-coated tongues, promising petrol cheaper than pure water, five million jobs in one year, and every graduate driving a Benz before December. Some even declare, Give me four years. If I do not perform, stone me. But once they enter office, reality hits harder than a Lagos conductor’s slap. Suddenly they begin to lament about debt profiles, dead refineries, bloated civil service, and how sixty percent of the national budget vanishes into salaries and allowances for people who barely contribute anything.
Yet Nigerians continue to demand Scandinavian-style welfare in a country where the tax-to-GDP ratio is less than six percent, compared to South Africa’s twenty-seven percent and over thirty percent in OECD nations. We do not want to pay taxes. In fact, many see paying tax as government wickedness. But we want free education, free healthcare, free electricity, free fuel, and, if possible, free common sense. We ask why Nigeria cannot be like Norway, forgetting that Norway spent decades saving oil money in a sovereign wealth fund while Nigeria was busy subsidizing petrol for billionaires’ SUVs.
To many Nigerians, good governance means government-sponsored socialism. The government must give everybody a job, even those who failed WAEC twice but now want civil service work because connections will make it happen. The government must fix every pothole, pay every hospital bill, subsidize every foodstuff, and maybe even contribute to wedding expenses. Meanwhile, the private sector is gasping for air, local industries are dying, and productivity is on life support. But try pointing this out and they will chorus that it is the president’s fault.
Politicians understand this very well. They mount podiums and promise to turn water into wine in six months. They vow to export Nigerian sand to Dubai, import Dubai’s roads back to Nigeria, and ensure every citizen owns a Tesla before the next election. Sweet talk sells. Was it not Buhari who promised one naira to one dollar? Today, even one naira equals one deep sigh.
The real problem is that Nigerians do not want to hear about long-term reforms. Talk about fiscal discipline, industrialization, or cutting government waste and they will yawn. But mention fifty naira rice, one hundred naira fuel, and the permanent burial of NEPA and you will hear them scream your name like a worship song. This is why every election season feels like a festival of fantasy novels written by people high on cheap gin.
Until we realize that nation-building is not magic but decades of discipline, sacrifice, and hard work, we will keep recycling politicians who sell us dreams and leave us with nightmares. Good governance is not Santa Claus handing out freebies. It is about building systems that allow people to create wealth for themselves. But for now, Nigerians still believe governance is about entering Aso Rock and turning water into crude oil.
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