Michael Ainomugisha
AINOMUGISHA MICHAEL에 의해Seven months into this year and I’ve already deemed it “a year of massive growth.”
I officially moved out of my parents’ house (for the third time) to a new (and a newer location) city, got to pronounce myself as a part-time freelance writer and full-time life student that I’m loving...
Created a consistent blog on Medium and Substack and a few podcasts that you’re listening to…
And I’ve been diving deep into self-growth, mindfulness, and digital communications.
What I’ve learned most of all, in my life so far, is that I don’t know much of anything.
But you know what? That’s the beauty of life. We continuously get to learn and grow, over and over again on a blog, podcast, in a mentorship class, or maybe in a newsroom.
Even though I’m not an expert at life, I’ve learned a lot through the years.
So I thought I’d share with you some titbits of wisdom I’ve come across along my journey a journey of being born in Kamukuzi, raised in Katukuru, spending my teenage days in Kyaliwajjala, and my early 20s in Mukono.
Welcome back to The Michael Ainomugisha Podcast.
It’s been a while since I sat down to record an episode and if you’ve been listening for some time, thank you for your patience, your support, and for still showing up.
So much has happened in the last few months. I’ve been living, learning, stumbling, and growing in the best and hardest ways. This episode is called “25 Life Lessons To Learn Before Turning 25”—a raw and honest reflection from someone who’s still figuring life out in real time. These lessons were born out of my personal journeyAnd today, I’m here with something special.
And I hope you’ll share yours in the comments.
Lesson 1: Don’t Follow Your Heart or Head—Trust Your Intuition
That lovely gut of yours it knows more than you think.
Sometimes, it’s not about what your heart feels or what your mind calculates. It’s about what your intuition whispers. It doesn’t scream. It doesn’t over-explain. But it often knows the right next step.
The key is to ask your intuition. Don’t expect it to map out the next five years—just let it guide your “right now.”
Should you quit that job?
Should you apply to a school near home or far away?
Should you move out, make a change, say yes, or say no?
Ask your intuition. You might be surprised by the answer that quietly rises up before your head and heart start debating.
When I moved out of my dad’s house in 2022, I didn’t consult a circle of naysayers. I packed my bag, leaned into my gut feeling, and began to juggle this thing called life. Alone, uncertain—but honest with myself.
Intuition blossoms from within. It’s the real you speaking. And yes, it can sometimes feel like a miracle or a mistake. But you’re already naked in this life. You might as well trust yourself over the noise of ten voices around you.
In the end, whether your choice turns out clever or foolish, at least it’s yours. You can take full responsibility for it. You've got one life don't get so tangled up in logic that you lose the rhythm of your own path. Let the heart be the compass, and intuition the wind that carries you.
Science agrees: the mind receives over 90 times more sensory information than we are consciously aware of. Intuition is that quiet hunch based on all the unconscious and subconscious data the iceberg below the surface. When you trust your gut, you’re tapping into a deep well of hidden knowledge.
That said, intuition isn’t infallible. It’s often tangled up with bias those invisible filters we carry, shaped by our past, our environment, and our fears. Everyone has bias. The real power comes in recognizing it. Test your intuition. Question it, especially when making judgments about people or sensitive issues. Stereotypes, assumptions, and snap judgments always deserve a second look.
So yes, I trust my intuition. But not blindly.
And like anyone else, I sometimes catch myself following it without thought. That’s human. The key is balance—listen to your gut, but also be wise enough to challenge it when needed.
Because the journey isn’t about being perfectly rational—it’s about being honest, awake, and alive to what’s guiding you.
Lesson 2: It’s Good to Work on Improving Your Weaknesses, But It’s Even Better to Focus on Your Strengths
… Delegate if you need to. When I first moved out of my parent’s house, I learned that I’m not a handy-man and instead of feeling bad about not being a one-man show – I either have my friends or I hire someone to help. That’s sort of a silly example, but don’t sweat the things you’re not naturally good at. Work at being even better at the stuff you’re already good at.
I discovored that I love to talk those that I bring to my space but then a weakness lied in the way I brought my grammar together in writing and started a blog that is down in the description and I tried radio presentation to give my podcasting voice shape something that I think has worked.
Not long ago, I came across a Quora post by a man named John Michael Domingo that really resonated. He wrote: “Is it better to focus on your strengths or on your weaknesses? If you ask 20 people, you’ll get 20 different answers.
Some say ditch your weaknesses and focus on your strengths.
Others say fix your weaknesses first.
I say: there’s a time and place for both.”
He went on to describe two specific scenarios where it’s worth shifting your focus from strengths to weaknesses:
Scenario 1: Your Weakness Affects Your Self-Confidence
Domingo shared his experience in fitness. After a year of upper body workouts, he had neglected leg day—because it didn’t come naturally. When he joined a rugby team and had to wear mid-thigh shorts, his insecurity about his legs took centre stage. He felt embarrassed. It affected how he carried himself. So he decided to change. He turned that weakness into a strength. And over time, leg day became his personal battlefield—a place of growth, struggle, and eventually pride.
The lesson?
If a weakness damages your self-esteem, don’t ignore it. Tackle it.
Make it your mission to transform that insecurity into something you own.
Scenario 2: Your Weakness Limits a Strength
Domingo also shared how his passion for writing was held back—not by a lack of ideas, but by his inability to type properly. For someone who had brilliant concepts to share, the bottleneck was finger-pecking at the keyboard. So he used a free typing program, committed to the grind, and within weeks his new skill removed the friction between his thoughts and his expression.
When a weakness is limiting a strength, fix it so your strength can flourish.
My Takeaway
Like Domingo, I believe that strengths should be our main focus. That’s where joy, momentum, and progress lie. But if a weakness is draining your confidence—or blocking your ability to shine—then it’s worth your attention.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about alignment.
Know what you’re great at.
Work at becoming world-class at it.
But if something deep inside you feels like a liability, take time to heal it, shape it, or reframe it.
Your strengths will take you far.
But your mindset toward your weaknesses that’s what builds character.
Lesson 3: Progress, Not Perfection
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I don’t consider myself a perfectionist, but I’ve struggled a lot with not starting things because I don’t believe I’m ready or feel too worried that it won’t be nearly as good as others an example is Communications and PR personal tutorials and online classes. Oh, the comparison game. It’s kind of sick really. We fear not being able to finish first so we don’t even bother entering the race. Sometimes we have to remember that just participating is enough, for now. We can have goals to finish first, but in order to be that good, you have to start at the bottom. I think the problem is that we constantly see plenty of examples of people who are already at the top and we don’t see anyone who is struggling at the bottom with us. Let’s remind ourselves that everyone starts at zero. I also look at some of the most successful couples, you realise they didn’t have it all in the start but always focused on progress, progress of taking their kids in schools, progress to pray, agree and plan together and things now look perfect. Even the best writers, one day had their copies edited as a mark of progress. I don’t always want to be popular because of this too, imagine the pressure that comes with trying to perfect yourself and stay there, ask for progress not perfection because there is no such as perfect people.
Lesson 4: It’s Okay If You Don’t Have a Passion
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Oneday while in a journalism class a friend mentioned how they don’t have something they want to specifically forcus on after campus because in my journalism class, lecturers would tell us find a passion, a niche and work hard to develop it, but my friend at a time wanted to be a photographer, a corporate events host, a reputable journalist or a communications personal despite not having majored in Communication but I think she could do them all perfectly despite not having a clear passion. I feel like you’re either filled with passion or you’re jealous of everyone who is passionate. But it’s okay to just be interested. And I think I’ve redefined what passion is for me. I’m not passionate all the time. I don’t feel like it always drives me. But I am always interested in that thing this thing or the other. I’ve learned this difference through Having to endure a full year missing out on 3 hours of a course paper (this sometimes used to make me cry by the way) Passion isn’t everything, but curiosity is. Curiosity makes you feel alive, connected, and present. Stay curious.
Lesson 5: Dress the Part
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When I was a teen I think I had so much confidence in my senior one and two I took the stage in my high school’s MDD days as a “Gentle” Attire model. But then I have lost the confidence in my 20’s it’s strange how I have put on a tie once. But I have found in confidence in putting on Buggy and Big pants it gives freedom. To support my point, I will say my friend Patrick whom we’ve shared almost 11 years of our lives as friends, Patrick Is always dressed apart something that Always puts him apart and he is an opposite of my teenage and my twenties because it was me who was gentle in suits and ties before but he took on the suits and ties in our twenties. I’ve noticed that when I dress up a little (while still staying true to my style), I feel like I can run the world. I still love hanging out in big pants, but work and being in a university environment has forced me to start dressing up a little and I’m loving it. You feel a world of difference when you put in the effort, just for you, every day.
Lesson 6: Say Yes Before You’re Ready
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Fun fact: I recently had my first feet outside Uganda. Yes, at twenty-four years old, I took my first foot out of Uganda and it was to the neighbourhood in Kenya. The reason why I went is public and known to those who take time to know. I got a message from the Head of Sports at UCU asking if I could share my bank account details for sports coverage of the East African University Games in Kisumu, Kenya—a trip I had been anticipating since the beginning of 2024.
Immediately, I forwarded the details without even thinking. I had been wanting to travel to a neighbouring country for a while and had been planning to do so in December of this year, but I went earlier than anticipated. You’ll never learn more than when you jump before you are 100 percent ready.
That said, there’s a clear difference when it comes to decisions that can’t be reversed. These are what Jeff Bezos called Type 1 decisions. Choosing a life partner, settling into a religious denomination, or committing to a certain career path these require thought, prayer, and intentional consideration.
In relationships and friendships, Type 1 decisions are major, long-term choices that impact emotional well-being. Committing to a serious relationship, ending a friendship, or deciding to move in together all demand deep reflection. Type 2 decisions, on the other hand, are smaller, reversible ones. Deciding how often to communicate, resolving a minor disagreement, or planning a date these can be adjusted without lasting consequences.
The mistake many people make is treating small issues as Type 1 decisions. They overanalyse things that could be changed with a conversation, while rushing into big decisions with little thought. Wisdom is knowing when to say yes and when to pause.
Ecclesiastes 11:4 says
“Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.”
Sometimes, saying yes before you're fully ready is the beginning of everything new.
Lesson 7: Don’t Find Your Validation from Shiny Pennies
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Chasing shiny pennies means that you’re chasing something that looks important or pretty or worthy of your attention, but it’s worthless. Examples of shiny pennies: likes on Instagram, TikTok, followers on social media, winning 1st place in a public marathon, etc. It’s not that you can’t have these goals – sometimes they’re great goals to have. The problem happens when you are looking to get validation from them. When you achieve them, you don’t feel half as good as when you’re chasing something that’s coming from your true purpose.
For example, having a podcast episode go viral and hit 10,000 plays in one night might seem like the ultimate win. But if you're only doing it for those numbers, the moment passes quickly and feels hollow. On the other hand, when you produce a podcast like The Michael Ainomugisha Podcast or The SportsRecap Podcast that gives voice to stories that matter – stories of athletes overcoming odds, or underreported truths in Ugandan society – even if the numbers are modest, the fulfillment is real. You’re building something from your purpose, not just chasing applause. That’s where the true value lies.
Lesson 8: Nothing Will Get Done If You’re Only Dreaming and Not Doing the Work
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I don’t know if I’ve confessed to you all how much of a dreamer I am. I envision the things, but I’m not as good at doing the things. I don’t like the word hustle really, because I think it puts too much pressure on us to overwork ourselves. But we do need to put in the work. It’s the not-so-pretty part of the big, fancy dreams we have.
For example, I dreamt of building an online radio station – aMNRadio. The name, the shows, the slogan “Talk, Learn, Best Music” – all of it lived in my head for months. But it wasn’t until I started scripting episodes, learning backend tech, and balancing that work with my studies and writing commitments, that things started to shift from idea to impact. The long nights recording The Michael Ainomugisha Podcast or producing Uganda Daily weren’t glamorous – but that’s what built the foundation.
Then also I dreamt that by 2024 I would be a graduate, but didn’t work but I rely on the scripture “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 Trusting in God's sovereignty and goodness can give us peace and confidence, even in the face of uncertainty because I know I am putting in work the degree will come.
Dreams are the blueprint. But showing up daily – even when it’s not perfect, even when no one’s clapping yet – that’s the construction.
Lesson 9: Sometimes You Don’t Know What You’re Thinking Until You Write It Down
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I was always aware that reflecting is important, but I didn’t recognize how important it was for me to journal my thoughts. I’d honestly been afraid to write, because when I would discover journals later, I’d think, “what gibberish was I talking about?” But the truth is, writing can help you understand yourself better. My mind may have so many thoughts in a fifteen-minute span to the point where I can’t even understand what I’m actually feeling. Journaling gives you that outlet. (Meditation is another excellent form of this! Though I keep skipping it.)
For example, when I was navigating university stress, missed exams, and the pressure of maintaining a podcast and chasing freelance stories, I’d find myself overwhelmed – like my brain was a tab with 37 windows open. But writing – whether in a journal, or even in a casual voice memo I later transcribed – helped me slow things down. It wasn’t always coherent or poetic. Sometimes it was just “I’m tired. I don’t know what I’m doing.” But even that brought clarity. It reminded me that confusion is part of the process, and self-awareness is built one honest word at a time.
Lesson 10: Notice Your Ego and Don’t Give It Power
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Oh, the ego loves attention, doesn’t it? Another lovely thing I’ve learned from My internship experiences, any my past relationships is to notice when your ego is talking so that you can detach from it. We have a lot of negative, nasty thoughts in our heads that make us second guess ourselves. It’s helpful to simply acknowledge your ego and try to lead yourself away from following ego-driven actions. I think we’ll be battling the ego our whole lives.
For example, there were moments during my Supervised Internship or even when pitching stories to editors where I’d start thinking, “If this doesn’t get a ton of praise, maybe I’m not good enough.” That’s ego – whispering that validation equals worth. Or when I compared my work to other journalists or podcasters with bigger platforms and felt that quiet nudge of “You’re behind.” Again, ego. But learning to pause and say, “That’s not me talking, that’s fear and pride in a costume” helped me reclaim my energy.
Maybe this I’ve also learned “Never ruin an apology with an excuse, Agree/Admit to the facts of the situation, acknowledge its impact, apologize for the situation, and Act to correct it.”
The real you, the one focused on truth-telling, service, and growth—that version doesn’t need applause to move forward. It just needs clarity.
Lesson 11: Let Advice Go as Easily as You Take It In
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Writing with Madam Carol Alyek has really let this sink in 100%. She’ll remind you gently but firmly that your copy needs clarity, again and again. And the more I allowed that advice to come in, the more it started to shape how I wrote, how I edited, and how I thought about storytelling. When I started volunteering for The Standard UCU, I was a fresh intern mainly interested in perfecting my style. I was focused on my voice. But Madam Carol’s feedback reminded me that writing isn’t just about sounding good it’s about being understood, something my other mentor Charles Mutebi told me. I took her advice in daily, and honestly, the rest is history.
But here’s the other side: taking advice is powerful, but clinging to it blindly especially when it starts to contradict can become overwhelming. There’s so much “do this” and “never do that” floating around, especially online. You hear one mentor swear by a rule, another dismisses it entirely. So, what do you do? You remember that just because advice worked for someone else doesn’t mean it’s gospel for you. We all have different rhythms, priorities, and creative instincts.
Some of the greatest artists, journalists, and creators didn’t follow the rulebook. They listened, they learned, but they also let go when it was time to trust their own process. Take in what helps. Let the rest float past. This doesn’t mean if you are not in a creative industry you shouldn’t listen to advice, you can! And as James 1:5 reminds us:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
It’s not just about what people say it’s about filtering all advice through prayer, discernment, and the wisdom that God freely offers. Listen, but don’t be shaken. Learn, but don’t lose yourself.
Lesson 12: Kindness Without Honesty Isn’t Kindness at All
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You can be kind and honest at the same time.
I pride myself on being a super kind person maybe one of the kindest you’ll meet. But I’ve learned that sometimes, that very kindness can get me in trouble. I’ve come to realize thanks to a few hard conversations and some quiet reflection that I haven’t always been honest in my kindness.
There’s a part of me that avoids uncomfortable truths because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m sensitive. I naturally ask, “How would I feel if that was said to me?” And that question has helped me build empathy. But over time, I’ve also learned that not everything kind is soft, and not every truth has to hurt. True kindness includes truth it just wraps it in love.
Avoiding the hard conversations or holding back real feedback doesn’t always protect people it sometimes keeps them (and me) from growing. So now I’m learning to hold space for both: to be kind and honest. To speak gently, but not to hide. To say the thing, but to say it with love.
Ephesians 4:15 says it best:
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Growth doesn’t come from silence or sugarcoating it comes from truth spoken with compassion. And that’s the kind of kind I want to be.
Lesson 13: Little Actions Make a Big Difference
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One day, I’ll sit down with my friends and explain why Perfect Days is one of the most beautifully made films especially for anyone learning to find joy and peace in life’s simplest moments. That film reminded me of something I’ve been learning over time: consistency in small things creates big, lasting change, even in a Movie like Coach Carter you realise that he focused on the small things like training on runs, something that the team at Richmond High school had failed to sync in their practice, also I learnt that he focused on small things like their behaviours outside the court and by the end of the year he had student athletes enrolled to universities something Richmond high school had failed to achieve throughout their years of existence.
We often think in big terms grand gestures, massive goals, bold starts. But it’s the small, daily choices that shape our lives. I remember how I stopped going to the gym in mid-March, and honestly, I thought that meant I’d lose momentum. But instead, I just started doing dips and pushups at home nothing fancy, just consistent. And funny enough, these quiet, modest efforts have kept me in better shape than I expected. Also, in 2019 when I quit taking soda, I thought I would one be tempted to drink it but small things like carrying a water bottle saved me the backslide.
I’ve seen it again recently in my personal life. I started having intentional conversations with someone I now call my girlfriend. Just small things: little “good mornings,” “good nights,” and “how was your day?” messages. But those small check-ins daily moments of presence have laid a beautiful foundation for our relationship. You realize that love isn’t always built in grand declarations; it’s in the little moments that say “I see you” and “I care.”
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the bigness of goals whether it’s keeping a relationship alive, maintaining your fitness, or growing your creativity. But small things, done consistently, can be more powerful than one-time, high-energy bursts. In a relationship, it could be treating them to coffee or taking the initiative to plan the next date. Side note: Don’t forget to keep dating the person you’re dating, in fact suggest a more serious relation: courting. That consistency is a love language on its own.
Galatians 6:9 reminds us:
“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
So, whether it’s prayer, pushups, check-ins, or thoughtful texts keep showing up in small ways. Those little seeds you're planting every day? One day, they’ll bloom into something beautiful.
Lesson 14: We Have a Bigger Purpose
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My belief in this has grown stronger over the years. I’ve come to understand that our lives are part of a story far bigger than our daily struggles. When things fall apart—when I’m financially drained, or when I missed that exam that could’ve delayed my graduation—I’m often reminded, in quiet moments, that all is vanity. That phrase always circles back in my thoughts, not to minimize the pain, but to reframe it.
It would’ve been easy to get stuck in anger or shame. I did feel discouraged. And yet, something in me kept saying: This is not the end of your story. Instead of fighting for something that wasn’t in reach at the moment, I chose to build something stronger beneath me. I turned my attention to growing my foundation—learning more about digital communication, sharpening my writing, taking on freelance opportunities, and becoming a better storyteller. And now, I can see those efforts weren’t distractions—they were preparations.
There were moments earlier, like when my A-Level results came back and I could feel my parents’ quiet disappointment. They didn’t say it openly, but their reactions to my later university struggles said enough. I even think my teachers expected more of me, though they never found the time to tell me—and I never found the words to explain myself. But even in that silence, something in me kept whispering that there was still a reason to move forward.
Maybe you’ve already discovered your purpose. Maybe, like me, you’re still walking toward it in faith. Either way, knowing that your life carries purpose can help carry you through hard seasons. Purpose doesn’t always arrive as a clear voice—it’s often revealed through what we endure and what we choose to rise from.
Romans 8:28 says it like this:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
So even when it’s unclear, keep going. Keep building. Keep trusting that your story is still unfolding—and that every chapter, even the hardest ones, are leading you toward something greater.
Lesson 15: Confidence Is Not “They Will Like Me.” Confidence Is “I’ll Be Fine If They Don’t.”
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This year, in particular, I have started working towards confidence. We’re always fussing about what other people think and it can be incredibly draining. At the end of the day, we can only be the best versions of ourselves. So, screw what other people think, be as true to yourself as you can be and let that be enough.
Confidence is a very broad word but while growing up, my dad used to challenge us to read the Bible in my native language “Runyankole” and try to translate it to English because we were school going pupils at the time, he also challenged us to speak to visitors, introduce ourselves at functions to him that was a way of building Confidence. But in that I saw there was some sort of being perfect, perfect articulation, speech and guess what it created “they will like me mentality”
Confidence however in my 2020’s has been re-shaped; while doing my 2023 class of MCI fellowship I made an important discovery that even when you don’t know something your ability to express you don’t know is confidence its self.
The education system its self has failed us in having more confident people because the way we are ranked, seating arrangements, eating order and class streams are always put in order of our knowing things that it self-lowers our confidence but when you realise you don’t know it, work towards knowing it and get the confidence booster like they say.
Lesson 16: There Is Almost Always an Upside
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If you choose to see the negative, you will see it. Likewise, if you choose to see the positive, you can. Choose the light. Choose the glass half full. This was a big change for me and I try to remind myself daily that you can almost always find something good in a negative situation. At times, there will be sadness, depression, stress, and they can all even hit you at once. In those instances, are when you MUST stay STRONG and keep your head up.
Of course, there are some exceptions to this phrase, but most experiences will pass as long as you work towards getting out of the situation. It could be a common cold, it could be school issues, work, life in general, or even friendship. The world isn’t fair, and sometimes it is definitely not a happiest place to be, and that feeling is what could actually slow you down. But always remember that what you’re going through is not all there is. You need to eventually fight for your happiness during your hardest times.
Lesson 17: Be an Example
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We all want to change people.
I think it's something we're born with this urge to help others see the light once we’ve figured something out for ourselves.
But here’s the truth: the best way to change people isn’t through advice.
It’s through example.
Live it.
People are far more likely to be drawn to meditation when they notice how calm and centered you’ve become not when you go on and on about how they need it in their lives.
I know this from experience.
I’ve spent time telling people how they should live.
Preaching instead of practicing.
And you know what? It doesn’t work.
But when you start walking the walk when you embody the change you become quiet proof that a different path exists.
And that’s when people start paying attention.
They don’t need a lecture.
They need a living example.
I find myself having these kinds of conversations often especially with my siblings.
As the firstborn in an African home, you’re naturally expected to lead.
Whether you choose to be an example or not, you will definitely be seen as one.
Even at the workplace, this idea holds strong.
You are expected to live and lead by example.
Leading by example means demonstrating the values, habits, and behaviors you want others to adopt. It’s about showing integrity, professionalism, empathy, and a strong work ethic.
When leaders lead by example, they set a benchmark not just through words, but through action.
And when that happens, it creates a ripple effect.
It builds a positive work culture where people feel inspired, engaged, and aligned with the mission.
Because when you show up every day living your values, others will follow.
Not because you told them to but because you showed them how.
Lesson 18: It’s Not Personal
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Back in Senior Three, I used to wonder why some friendships last while others fade away. It used to bother me, especially when I felt like I had done everything right. But recently, I came across something called the Rule of Ease in relationships. It changed the way I look at connection whether romantic or platonic. The rule suggests that healthy relationships should feel natural, safe, and balanced. They shouldn’t be a constant emotional uphill climb.
In romantic relationships, this looks like effortless communication, emotional safety, shared effort, and being your true self. In friendships, it’s the ability to grow, show up without pressure, respect each other’s space, and still feel supported. Yes, all relationships need effort—but not one that constantly drains or breaks you.
Over time, I’ve also learned that when people say hurtful things, it often has more to do with them than with you, because some of these things are influenced by their upbringings, their environments, people they choose to hung with, the food they eat, the Television channel they watch, the tiktok accounts they follow. Etc. all in consideration. We tend to take things personally because it makes us feel like we matter in that story. But most people are projecting their own pain, fears, or insecurities. It’s sometimes not about you.
Honestly, people don’t think about us nearly as much as we think they do. They don’t remember the shirt we wore, the drop of ink on our color, the words we fumbled, or the small missteps we obsess over. Realizing that has freed me from overthinking and taught me to just live.
Romans 12:18 reminds us:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
That verse speaks to our responsibility in relationships—we’re called to try, to show love, and to offer peace. But if a relationship becomes a battlefield, and peace is no longer possible, it’s okay to let go. Sometimes walking away isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom.
So don’t take everything personally. Protect your peace. Let people go if they aren’t meant to stay. And never forget: the way people treat you often says more about them than it ever does about you.
Lesson 19: Try Not to Make Decisions When You’re Sad or Angry
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This lesson traces all the way back to my childhood in Katukuru. I remember it vividly those sunny, playful afternoons in the village. I was in Primary Four, and I absolutely hated losing. After all, I had topped my class four years in a row. So, every game I played, every bike ride I took I wanted to win it, even something as simple as Okwepeena felt like another test I needed to ace.
One particular day, I was playing with one of my young aunties who raised me. We were in the last throws of the game, and I was determined not to lose. But she dodged my final throw and teased me for it knowing full well how much I hated losing. I felt deeply embarrassed and wounded. In that moment of rage, I picked up a rock and hurled it not at her directly, but carelessly. She dodged again, but the rock struck our neighbour’s son in the head. It left a small hole in his skull. I was horrified. The damage wasn’t just physical it tore a hole in the relationship between our families.
I’ll never forget how my father responded. When he arrived, he didn’t yell. He didn’t discipline me immediately. He was visibly upset, but he chose not to make a decision in the heat of the moment. That restraint taught me more than any punishment ever could.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized the depth of that lesson: never make decisions when you’re angry or deeply sad. Those emotions are powerful and temporary but their consequences can last a lifetime.
Whether it’s in a fight with someone you care about or a tough situation at work, wait. Take a breath. Let yourself cool down. Speak when your heart is calm. From experience, I can confirm it makes everything go smoother.
James 1:19 says it perfectly:
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Anger clouds judgment. Sadness distorts reality. Wisdom is in the pause.
So, take the pause. Save yourself from regrets. Let peace lead your decisions—not pain.
Lesson 20: There’s No Such Thing as Mistakes
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There are only successes and lessons. Sure, you can call it a mistake if you want—but if it taught you something, then it was worth going through. The real problem begins when you repeat it instead of learning from it.
When we were younger and sometimes even now, we find ourselves going back to the same situations, people, same relationships or habits we know aren’t good for us. But growing up is about learning to choose differently. It’s recognising the pattern and having the courage to break it.
Every wrong turn carries a message. Every fall carries a lesson. Maturity isn’t about never messing up. It’s about being honest enough to admit where you slipped, and wise enough not to trip the same way twice.
In 2022 and part of 2023, while staying with Patrick, we often clashed over who would carry the house key. Over time, we got comfortable thinking our room was always secure until one Sunday morning when I returned from work and found our door wide open. Our shoes were gone. The flat iron gone. My podcast equipment, coins, and some of our best shirts gone. That moment hit hard. But it taught us something vital: prioritizing security over arguing about who takes the key. After that, we developed a rotation system and never experienced a break-in again.
That mistake became a turning point. It cost us, yes, but it taught us more than we lost.
There are no failures if you refuse to stop learning.
Lesson 21: Choose to Show Up
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We live in a world that’s constantly pulling us in different directions social media, work, pressure, even our own thoughts. And in the chaos, it’s so easy to be present in body but absent in spirit. But showing up truly showing up is half the battle. It’s powerful.
I’ve learned this through lived experience. Whether it’s something I’m doing for free, volunteering, having a conversation, or taking an evening walk, I tend to give it 100%. I gave it 100 by showing up for every UCU Lady Cardinals game in the 2024/2025 FUFA Women’s Elite League season. I gave it 100 by turning up every day at The Standard UCU as a volunteer. I show up for every sport UCU participates in if I’m available, I’m there.
Sometimes, that level of commitment leads to disappointment I’ve felt underpaid, overlooked, and questioned. And in relationships, I’ve let go not because I didn’t care, but because I was the only one showing up fully.
But still, I choose to show up. Not because I have nothing else to do, but because presence is a decision, and mine is grounded in intention, not circumstance.
Colossians 3:23 says:
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
This verse reminds me that our consistency, effort, and integrity aren’t wasted—even if people don’t notice. When you show up, especially when it’s hard or unrewarded, it says something about who you are. So, wherever you are in life, no matter the recognition or return, choose to show up fully, honestly, and intentionally.
You never know what that consistency is building in you.
Lesson 22: Balance Is Key
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One of the most memorable things I’ve ever read on Threads was: “Everything in moderation.” It stuck with me because it’s true. We often take things a little too far—love, work, junk food, scrolling, or even how much time we give to others. These things aren’t bad in themselves, but they become problems when we don’t know where to stop.
Perfect balance might be a myth, but intentional balance isn’t. And I believe we can discipline ourselves—unless there’s a condition or deeper issue—and still live our best, healthiest life. If you’re working nonstop without rest, or spending too much time with your partner without room to grow as individuals, trouble follows. You need space, breaks, and perspective. That’s where balance lives.
Even in my own life, I’ve had to check myself: Am I pouring too much into one thing while starving another? It’s a hard conversation, but a necessary one.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says:
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
This reminds me that life comes in seasons and with those seasons, we’re called to pace ourselves, to respect the rhythms of life. When you overextend or underinvest, you lose your footing. But when you aim for moderation even in love, even in passion you’ll find peace that doesn’t burn you out.
Lesson 23: Treat Yourself How You Treat Others
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We often have the kindest, most encouraging words ready for our friends when they need love and support. But when it comes to ourselves, we struggle to offer the same compassion. I’ve noticed this especially in small moments like birthdays. Honestly, I don’t remember ever really celebrating my own birthday. Yet there have been times when circumstances led me to celebrate other people’s birthdays more joyfully than I ever did for mine.
Why is it easier to pour love outwards than to pour it inwards? Next time you find yourself feeling down or critical of yourself, try this: speak to yourself the way you would speak to your best friend. Offer yourself grace, encouragement, and kindness.
Matthew 22:39 reminds us:
“Love your neighbour as yourself.”
That verse doesn’t just say love your neighbour it also assumes you love yourself. Self-kindness isn’t selfish it’s necessary. When you treat yourself with the same care and respect you give others, you create a foundation for true peace and confidence. So, start small celebrate yourself a little more, even if it’s just with a kind word or a quiet moment of gratitude.
You deserve it.
Lesson 24: People Have Their Own Journeys Too
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Just like you may be navigating anxiety, battling fear of rejection, or wrestling with uncertainty about your future everyone else is on a journey of their own. They might not talk about it. They may not even be fully aware of it yet. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Sometimes, it’s easy to believe you’re the problem. That if something doesn’t work out, if someone pulls away, or if help doesn’t come through it must be your fault. But often, it’s not you. It’s them. They’re simply dealing with their own battles.
I truly saw this during a conversation with a friend of mine. I was opening up about my struggles, especially with my university tuition. I explained all the nitty-gritties how stress had been building, how I missed an exam because of the balance, how I was emotionally drained. And this friend gave me the space to talk really talk. But what shocked me the most was that, with only two weeks left until our exams, he hadn’t paid a single coin either. Yet, he was calm. He had hope. He believed things would work out.
It reminded me of something from my childhood. I grew up in a village where most of us played football barefoot. It wasn’t because we loved it that way it was because many simply couldn’t afford shoes, or boots. You couldn’t judge them. You couldn’t mock them. You had to understand: people are on different paths. Some of those boys with no boots are now pursuing second degrees, becoming doctors, engineers, and contributing to nation-building.
Everyone has their own lane. Their own time. Their own fight.
Also, we love to judge different, don’t we? When something is unfamiliar, strange, or if we just don’t understand something – our first instinct is to dislike it. We don’t like the unfamiliar. It makes us nervous and unsettled. Whether I understand why someone does something or not, I try to remember that we’re different people and I don’t know what they go through. If someone isn’t harming anyone else, I believe people should be able to live life as they see fit.
It is actually unfair for not recognising that people have different journeys and are different.
So, when people don’t show up the way you expect, try to have grace. When a friend disappoints you, or someone seems distant, remember: it might not be about you. It might just be their own journey weighing on them. Like in Romans 12:15
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
To do that, we must acknowledge that others have stories, too.
Let us walk gently. Let’s not assume too much. Let us honour the journeys we can’t see.
Lesson 25: Why You Shouldn’t Always Share Your Dreams
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This might come in hard but worth it, when someone says, “I’m going to write a book,” or “I want to start a business,” and the person they’re talking to responds with, “That’s amazing! So cool!” something interesting happens in the brain. That encouragement triggers a little shot of dopamine. It feels good. It’s affirming.
But here’s the catch: the brain starts to think the job is done. That small rush of approval can actually dull your motivation when it’s finally time to sit down and do the hard work. That’s one reason why some people say: don’t share your dreams too early.
And that’s not the only reason.
When you tell people your dreams, they often project their own fears onto you. Some do it with good intentions because they care and don’t want to see you fail. Others do it out of envy or disbelief. Either way, it can temper your drive and make you second-guess yourself—before you’ve even had the chance to begin.
I don’t know how many drafts I have let go, how many parties I have missed because I have checked the to-do list psychologically, I had this zeal of starting aMNRadio and I actually started it but it in a way didn’t work-out because it was a to-do list checked by praises from friends and sort of stopped giving it content but I never gave up on the whole idea.
Still, staying quiet about your ambitions comes with its own challenges. When you don’t say what you’re working on and someone asks, “What are you up to these days?” you can’t exactly reply, “I’ve been spending three hours every night writing a novel,” without opening the door to doubt or pressure. And if you don’t say anything, people might just assume you’re doing nothing watching a movie, playing games, wasting time.
That’s why a simple, solid response can help:
“I’m working on something right now.”
If they press for more, try:
“I’m a bit superstitious about sharing my dreams too early.” This is something I learnt from some psychologist online, and I have seen it work overtime.
It might not satisfy everyone, but most people will respect it. And the ones who get it the ones who’ve also been quietly building something they’ll understand completely.
There’s no perfect approach. Either you risk losing motivation or face judgment. But in the end, your dream doesn’t need to be understood right away it just needs to be built. Quietly, patiently, and with all the fire you’ve got inside.
And that wraps up today’s episode of The Michael Ainomugisha Podcast.
Thank you so much for listening and watching, for making time to sit with these thoughts, and for being part of this journey.
If something in this episode stood out to you, don’t keep it to yourself share it with a friend, post a thought online. Sometimes the best conversations happen after the mic goes off.
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