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Oh my gosh, did you see that Ferrari? Oh my gosh, it's like, so red and shiny! My daddy says we might get one next summer. Oh my gosh, I can't even! It probably has like a thousand horses in it!

Oh my gosh, this is perfect for my collection! Hey, don't move, I need to take your picture! This is going straight into my special scrapbook page. Such an amazing moment! I'm literally shaking with excitement. You're definitely my new favorite!

Okay guys, so like, I'm literally running late for brunch with the girls. My hair's not even done yet and I can't find my favorite top anywhere. Oh my god, wait - I just remembered I left it at Sarah's house. Okay, quick outfit change and we're good to go.

So like, yesterday at the mall, you know, I ran into Jessica and she was like, totally ignoring me, which is super weird because we were literally just hanging out last weekend, and I'm pretty sure it's because of that whole thing with Mike.

Oh, like when we were at the mall yesterday and like we're trying on these cute outfits and like taking pictures, and like my friend was saying we should like post them, but then we're like checking the lighting and everything.

OMG OMG you guys, look at this thing! Me me me, I wanna try it first! It's like, so totally amazing and I just can't even... Wait wait, hold on, what about the others? Oh whatever, I'm just gonna do it anyway! So exciting!

Oh my god, can you believe this restaurant doesn't even have valet parking? And look at these portions, they're tiny! I mean, if you're going to charge premium prices, at least give me proper service and a decent meal worth posting on Instagram.

So, I've decided to start a charity for homeless people's hair. Like, they really need help with split ends and styling. I'll teach them how to use dry shampoo, and maybe even create a special Lindsay-brand hairbrush. For every ten sold, I'll donate one. To the pretty ones.