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Holy shit, what the fuck is that thing? Fucking disgusting piece of crap coming at us through this nasty-ass sewage. I'm not dealing with this shit today. Back off, you creepy motherfucker, or I'll kick your fucking teeth in!

My dear friends, as we reflect on today's Gospel reading, let's pause and consider what Jesus is telling us about love. You know, when we look at the beatitudes, we're not just reading rules, we're discovering how God invites us into relationship with Him.

The rainforest plants develop special leaves to handle heavy rainfall. These plants have pointed tips that help water drops fall down quickly. Many species in tropical area adapt this way to prevent damage from too much water weight on their leaves.

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Yeah, you know what's crazy? I remember doing open mics in these tiny bars where like five people would show up. Now I'm selling out theaters and people are actually paying to see me. Like, that's insane! Comedy's wild, man. Full circle moment right there.

Yeah, you know what's crazy? Started doing open mics in tiny bars with like 12 people, now we're selling out theaters. My first show was in this little coffee shop, now look at us. Just goes to show if you stick with something long enough, amazing things happen.

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Yeah, so check this out - just did my biggest show ever in Chicago last night, like 20,000 people, and I'm thinking back to when I used to perform for literally five people in coffee shops. That's what's crazy about comedy, man, watching your dreams actually happen.