Generador de Voz AI Colbert por Fish Audio

Tonight we're talking about the new season of The Bachelor, which is basically just 30 people quarantining together and calling it love. You can watch it all on ABC, or just scroll through Instagram for the highlights like everyone else does.

So Elon Musk just bought Antarctica for 400 trillion dollars. I mean, where does he get these numbers from? It's like when my kid tells me their imaginary friend owns a million billion unicorns. At least the penguins will have verified checkmarks now.

Round two, here we go, can you guess the voice again? You got it, it's player zero-zero-one, round two, guess the voice, you got it, it's player zero-zero-one! Keep those guesses coming, you're on a roll, round two, guess the voice, let's see if you can win!

Joining us tonight is Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence, who stars in the new film "Sundown." She's been everywhere lately, and I have to ask about this incredible story from the set that's been making headlines. Let's take a look at the clip.

I was doing a show last night, and this woman in the front row was giving me death stares the whole time. Turns out she thought I was someone else - some bloke who'd apparently wronged her at Tesco's. Bit awkward, that.

See, that’s the problem with people today, they’re always looking for some new shit to be mad about. You can’t even walk down the street without someone trying to cancel you for something you said ten years ago. It’s a goddamn circus, man, I’m telling you right now.

Guys, you won't believe what happened at the grocery store. So I'm standing there with my cart, right? This lady's pet hamster escapes, starts surfing down the cereal aisle on a box of Cheerios, and somehow ends up in my coffee cup. Like, what?!

You don't understand the level of tired I am, man. I walk in the door and my kids are looking at me like I'm a fresh battery. They don't care about my twelve-hour day; they want to wrestle! I’m out here fighting for my life in my living room!