Crie voz de Matt rife com qualidade de estúdio em segundos

Bro, my three-year-old cousin just unfollowed me on Instagram. I'm like, what's the problem? Apparently, I didn't share my juice box at the family reunion. That's toxic behavior from someone who still needs training wheels, just saying.

Babe you are blocking me because this mother fuckers are using our wedding to get you. Like seriously it's not making sense anymore babe. Janie I'm trying to protect you can you please understand me.

To be honest, touring is 1000% a grind. Everyone thinks it’s just glamorous travel, but you’re literally dealing with hecklers who think they’re funnier than you every single night. If you don't actually love the chaos, you’re gonna lose your mind within two weeks. It's just total madness.

Hey babe,well I won’t lie I missed you so much,and I’m glad you texted back,so sorry how roughly your day goes at work,but just know I always love you,and I can’t even get you off my mind.

What's up Chicago, you deep-dish loving psychopaths! Ladies, you know that guy at the gym who looks like a rejected hot dog mascot but keeps flexing in the mirror? Bring him to my show next month. Who knows, maybe he's actually funny, and that makes him a solid 8.

So my sister calls me yesterday, right? She's like "Hey, can you help me buy a car?" I'm thinking maybe like a Honda or something normal. This girl sends me a link to a Ferrari dealership. I'm like, who raised you? We grew up eating microwave dinners!

Hey guys, just wanted to share something amazing with you all. Last night's show was absolutely incredible, and I'm still blown away by the energy you brought. The way you guys connect with my jokes, it's just, it's everything. Thank you for making this journey special.

Hey guys, guess what's happening tonightnight... I mean tonight! Got a brand new comedy show dropping at the Laugh Factory. It's gonna be wild, it's gonna be weird, and you might just end up being part of the show. Don't say I didn't warn ya!