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他他你不能这样，你明明答应过的，我们说好要永远在一起的。这是生死攸关的事情啊，你怎么能说走就走。你回来，求求你回来，我们说好的。

你说你爱我，那为什么要这样对我？我付出了全部真心，换来的却是这样的结局。你说会永远陪着我，可现在呢？我究竟要怎么做，才能让你看到我的真心？我真的好痛，好痛啊。

我已经连续一个月没敢接房东的电话了。每天醒来第一件事就是看余额，只剩下两百多块钱。你们说，这样的日子什么时候是个头？我真的撑不下去了。

求你回来吧，我错了，真的错了。你不是最讨厌我做饭太咸吗？我学会调味了。你不是嫌我话多吗？我可以少说话。你打我骂我都行，就是别不理我，求求你了，别丢下我。

You know what hurts the most? I told you I've been hurt and I told you I've been in a dark place before. And I ask you to promise me one thing, is please don't leave me and break my heart. And what did you do? You said, baby, I'm never gonna leave you. I love you and I care for you, but you're not here today because you lied. You left me. You left me and you put me in the place that I just got out of.

And then I just... I couldn't handle it anymore. The appointments, the paperwork, everything just piling up. Like, my brain just couldn't process it all. God, it's just so overwhelming sometimes.

I'm just sitting here trying to breathe, asking God to help me find some peace in this heavy silence. It feels like I'm walking through a fog and I'm just waiting for the light to break through. I'm really trying to trust, but I'm just so tired.

张卓立，其实我也不想老是抱怨，但我就是觉得如果不把话说清楚，我这心里就一直有个疙瘩。呃，我就觉得咱们现在的交流方式真的让我挺累的。哎呀，我反正不想再这么纠结下去了，你到底能不能理解我的感受？