Matt rife AI 语音生成器，来自 Fish Audio

Look, I don't give a shit what people say about Ohio. I love the energy there, I love the dive bars, I love the people who don't take themselves too seriously, and I love that I can just be a normal dude without the LA bullshit. It’s home.

Hey guys, quick update because my phone's being weird as fuck. Just added three more shows next month because everything keeps selling out. Grab your tickets, bring your friends, whatever. Just don't be that person who waits till last minute. See you there!

Listen, Chicago, I know it's freezing cold but I'm coming through next month and I don't care what anyone says, it's gonna be insane. Like, literally insane. I love performing there, the energy is just different, you guys just get it.

Look, I know this is a total 180 from comedy, but you guys have to see the energy in this place. It's actually terrifying, but so fucking cool at the same time. We’re doing something nobody else has done before. Trust me, you don't want to miss what's coming.

Listen, life's gonna throw some crazy stuff at you, and sometimes it feels like the universe is writing jokes at your expense. But here's the thing - if you can laugh at yourself before anyone else does, you've already won half the battle.

Hey guys, I just found this fucking amazing podcast, man. I know everyone's probably listening to Joe Rogan and stuff, but you gotta check out Crime Junkie. Holy shit, their storytelling is incredible. If you're into true crime, trust me, you'll love it. You're welcome.

Listen, I’m definitely not a pro demonologist yet, but holding these haunted items is legitimately insane. Most people would run away, but we’re opening the doors for you guys to experience it. It’s terrifying, it’s fucking weird, and honestly, I’m just stoked to be part of this history. Stay tuned.

So I'm at this coffee shop, right? And this girl keeps looking at me, like obviously recognizing me from TikTok or whatever. You know what's funny? Instead of just saying hi, she pretends to take selfies while pointing the camera at me. Like, I can see you, we're literally five feet apart.