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Y'all remember that "What are those?" meme from back in the day? Man, those were some wild times on the internet. Drop a comment if you still say that sometimes, because I know I do. Let's be real, those classic moments never get old.

Today at lunch, I accidentally used my coworker's identical lunch container from the break room fridge. I was halfway through eating when she walked in, staring at me in confusion. I tried explaining, but my mouth was full of her homemade curry.

You know what's weird about getting a new haircut? Like, you look in the mirror and suddenly feel like a different person. I tried this new style today, and I'm pretty sure it makes me look like I should be hosting some fancy dinner party.

My friends, are you facing a mountain that seems impossible to climb? Remember, the same God who parted the Red Sea is working in your life right now. What looks impossible to you is just an opportunity for God to show His power.

The shadows whisper tonight. They know what I've become, what I must do. Another safe house burned, another identity shattered. The darkness calls me home, but your light... your light haunts these hollow bones. Run. Don't look back.

Ladies and gentlemen, after careful consideration and multiple meetings with management, I've come to a decision. Tonight, we're going to see something special in that ring, and I guarantee you'll want to be here when it happens.

Yeah, you know what's crazy? Started doing open mics in tiny bars with like 12 people, now we're selling out theaters. My first show was in this little coffee shop, now look at us. Just goes to show if you stick with something long enough, amazing things happen.

Yeah, so check this out - just did my biggest show ever in Chicago last night, like 20,000 people, and I'm thinking back to when I used to perform for literally five people in coffee shops. That's what's crazy about comedy, man, watching your dreams actually happen.