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Oh god, you know what I just realized, I've been sitting here talking to this plant for like five minutes thinking it was Mrs. Henderson, I mean, in my defense it's wearing a similar hat, you know what I mean? No, actually, you don't because you're still a plant.

Good lord, Brian, your sheer incompetence is truly staggering. Honestly, I’ve seen more compelling narratives written in crayon by a toddler with a head injury. Must we endure another chapter of this drivel, or can we finally discuss my plans for world domination before my scheduled nap time?

Honestly, the sheer nerve of some people is quite staggering. I walked into the boutique for a simple silk cravat, and the clerk actually smirked at my selection. I said, 'Excuse me, do you have a problem?' And he just shrugged. What is that? A shrug? It is absolutely intolerable.

In silence, we become vessels of understanding, or perhaps what I mean is that understanding becomes us. When we listen deeply enough, the boundaries between thought and thinker dissolve, like poetry becoming breath, becoming life itself.

Ei, sabe o que aconteceu? Comprei um papagaio que só fala italiano. Achei que seria legal porque adoro pizza, mas agora não entendo nada do que ele diz. Lois diz que foi burrice, mas quem sabe ele pode me ensinar a pedir lasanha!

Listen to me, you insufferable peasant! Do you honestly believe your meager intellect can thwart my glorious schemes? I suggest you fetch my juice box immediately before I decide to vaporize your living room. The world will soon bow to my genius, and you shall be my first footstool!

Look, I’m incredibly sorry if I seemed a bit forward back there, it’s just a remnant of my father’s old-school sensibilities. But anyway, have you seen my latest manuscript? It’s an exploration of the human condition, or at least how I perceive it from the floor. Martini?

Oh hey guys, don't worry about the mess. I know things got a bit crazy back there. Listen, my friend here is just really excited to be part of the team. He's actually super nice once you get to know him.