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Like, I literally cannot get over how huge my freaking cock is now. Susie and I are just sitting here and it's like, fully hard for no reason again. It’s seriously so awesome having this giant thing to play with and suck on all the time. I love it.

So I was at this coffee shop right and this group of people were like obviously taking photos of me and I'm just trying to get my drink like whatever but then they came up pretending they didn't know who I was asking for directions oh my god so awkward.

So I've been trying these different meetup groups in Seattle, like book clubs and hiking groups, and it's just... does anyone else feel super awkward at first? Like, how do people just casually start conversations without being weird about it?

Hey, so like, I saw you posted those pictures with Sarah yesterday, and I'm really confused because I thought we were supposed to hang out. You're acting really weird lately, and honestly, I don't get it. Just talk to me, okay?

So I just got this smoothie from that new place, right? I specifically asked them, "Is it actually fresh fruit?" They're like, "Oh yeah, totally fresh." Well, look at this. It's clearly from a mix. Like, why even say it's fresh if it's not? Okay, whatever.

So I've been trying this new thing where I sort of disconnect from social media before bed, and it's like, actually helping me sleep better. Instead of scrolling, I just kind of wind down with some tea and maybe read something light. It's becoming my protected evening time.

So like another thing I wanted to share with you guys is how I literally overthink every single text message I send. Like I'll type it out and delete it like five times, and sometimes I won't even end up sending anything because I'm so worried about how it sounds.

I am so beyond excited for you guys to see what we have planned for the show today! It is going to be an absolute blast, so make sure you tune in to The Five. I’ll be sharing a special update you definitely won't want to miss!