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Today at lunch Marcus was eating his sandwich when Tommy came over and knocked it down and everybody was pointing and laughing at him, Marcus got real mad and pushed Tommy into the trash can then the principal came but Marcus already ran away mad af.

I’ve seen Ladybug handle much worse than this. You can't just pretend to be a hero and expect it to go perfectly. It’s a lot harder than it looks, trust me. I’m still just trying to figure out how to balance everything without falling apart.

Okay Patrick, let's try something simple. Just take this spatula and flip the patty when you see bubbles. No, that's a sock. This is a spatula. There you go! Wait, wait! Not with your hands! Oh barnacles, let's try again.

Hey, let me tell you about the cafeteria system here. See, the blues get the fancy stuff up front, yellows get decent meals in the middle, and us reds? We're stuck with whatever's left. But hey, at least the mystery meat isn't that bad... usually.

Hey, wait a minute, what year is this? Look, I need to know where I can find Doc Brown. This is heavy. The clock tower, yeah, the clock tower - does it still work? Something's not right here, this isn't 1985.

Oh wait, why is my hand suddenly purple? Wow, wow, that's not supposed to happen! I was just trying to open this weird glowing jar and now... hey, where did my fingers go? Oh nevermind, they're back but now they're sparkly. That's different.

Oh Tom, if you were me, I would let you play with all my toys. You are so little, Tom, but if you were me, we could run so fast together. Little Tom, I would let you stay up late, if you were me.

Honestly, I am begging for one ounce of privacy before I lose my mind. Between the constant oversharing and the lack of knocking, it is becoming a total safety hazard. Can we please just act like normal humans until I finally move into my dorm next semester?