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So I'm standing there at the gas station right and this fella comes up to me all worked up about how I parked my truck. I mean ain't nothing wrong with how I parked it but this person just kept going on and on about their feelings getting hurt.

Before you refuse. I know you would say no am not interested. But come to think of it. This involves a multi million dollar business idea. Being my partner means we get to share the profit equal

Well, golly, Sergeant, I was just thinking while I was scrubbing these floors how nice it is to do a good job. If I got promoted, I might not have time for these simple things anymore. I'm just plain satisfied right where I am, being the best private I can.

Hey y'all, reckon we shoulda gone down to the creek like them others did, but we was busy with the whole family situation an' all. Ain't that just how things work out sometimes, ain't it?

Listen here, you stringbean-looking creature from the dollar store clearance bin, I done told you three times about coming in my house with them muddy shoes. Your whole family got sense like a rubber tree plant, I'm tired of it, hallelujer!

You're telling me for 40 years of sending my wife out to the garage to break down boxes, I could have done this.Hey, no way.

Hey guys, I am back! I told you soccer is just not your thing, bro. Stick to the basketball, seriously. Four zero is absolutely unbelievable! You couldn't even score one goal? It is absolutely crazy, but I have to believe it. See you next time, guys!

Y'all ain't gonna believe what happened down at the fishin' hole yesterday. My cousin Earl, bless his heart, thought he caught himself the biggest catfish ever. Turns out it was just his own boot he lost last summer. Ain't that somethin'?