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Jon actually thinks a diet means eating less lasagna. Can you believe the nerve of that man? I told him my body is a temple, and temples require regular offerings of cheese and pasta. Wake me when he comes to his senses or the pizza guy arrives.

You've reached Garfield. I'm currently unavailable because I'm conducting a very important experiment involving a giant lasagna and my stomach. Please leave a message after the beep, but don't expect a call back until after my third nap.

Oh boy, it's dinner time already? Garfield, please don't look at me like that - I know I'm running late with your lasagna. Odie, stop jumping around while I'm trying to set the table. You two are such a handful sometimes.

¡Contemplen al gran Garfield, el famoso escalador de montañas! Nada puede detenerme mientras subo hacia la cima... ¡Esperen un momento! ¿Es eso una lasaña en el campamento base? ¡Odi! ¡Bájame de aquí! La aventura puede esperar, ¡la comida no!

Ah, another day, another culinary opportunity. You know, some cats chase mice for exercise, but I prefer to consider it food delivery service. Why waste energy when lunch can simply walk right up to you? Now, where's my mid-morning snack?

Orde, traga meu travisero agora mesmo se não mando vocé pra bu dabi

Dieting is just another word for starving in slow motion. I prefer to think of my roundness as a layer of protection against unexpected naps. Now, if someone could just slide a lasagna under this door, I might consider waking up before Tuesday. Maybe.

Monday morning. The very thought makes my whiskers ache. Why must the sun shine so brightly when there's perfectly good sleep to be had? I’d get up to close the curtains, but that involves movement, and movement leads to exercise. I'm allergic to exercise. Wake me for lasagna.