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Listen, I’m just trying to help, but then the news starts calling me the Night Monkey and I have to just roll with it. It’s a very stealthy look, okay? Totally different guy. Since the news never lies, I guess I’m just a European hero now. Yeah, definitely.

Alright guys, so check it out - we got this awesome new series coming up that you're gonna love. Been working on it for a minute, and yeah, some of you already guessed what it is. Gonna drop more details soon, so stay tuned!

Listen, I would love to stay and chat about your questionable life choices, but I have got a chemistry test and I am already twenty minutes late. Could we maybe speed this up? Just stay still while I web you to this lamp post. Thanks, you are a pal!

Alright, everyone, keep those cameras rolling because it’s showtime! You won’t find moves this spectacular anywhere else, believe me. I make saving the city look like a red carpet event. No photos until the bad guys are wrapped up, jerks. Yeah, stay tuned for the encore!

Listen, being a hero isn't just about cool costumes and fancy web-shooters. My spider-sense is absolutely buzzing, which usually means trouble is right around the corner. But don't worry, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is on the case! Stick around, because this is going to be amazing.

You are mother fucker

Alright, everyone, keep back! No autographs until I've finished taking down these losers. Did you see that landing? Total money shot! Don't hate me because I make this look easy, folks. Just watch the suit, it's custom. You just got webbed by a legend. Watch and learn!

Guys, I think I found something even crazier than a pizza-loving snook! My Spidey sense is telling me there’s a giant pretzel monster nearby. Let’s swing into action and see if we can catch it before it eats everything. Come on, Team Spidey, let's go!