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"Hey baby Richard, it's Carrie. I just want you to know that I love you so much, and I can't afford to lose you. You are always in my heart, my love, and I never want anything to come between us. I can't wait for us to get married and build our own family together."

Bonjour tout le monde! Aujourd'hui, je veux partager avec vous mon expérience dans un café québécois. C'était un peu difficile de commander en français, mais j'ai réussi! Chaque petit progrès compte dans mon apprentissage. Je continue à pratiquer tous les jours.

Oh, well, you see, Marcy and I were planning to attend this fascinating lecture series on... wait, is that appropriate? I mean, last Thursday at the neighborhood council meeting... perhaps I should just stay home and catch that documentary on PBS instead.

Oh come on, it's just a little poker night with the guys. Sure, we lost the rent money, but that's not the point. The point is we had fun! Besides, these things always work themselves out. You know what they say about good times and good friends.

My dearest friend, I am reaching out to assure you this is genuinely me, Carrie Underwood, communicating with sincerity. I wish to establish a most trusted connection with you, as I am truly the authentic person you know me to be.

あの、申し訳ありません。今日は娘の習い事の送り迎えがありまして。ヒナトも楽しみにしているんですよ。でも、その前にお買い物も済ませないといけなくて。また今度ゆっくりお話できたらと思います。

Écoute, je vais te dire un truc. Dans la vie, faut pas jouer avec les gens, tu vois. Moi je suis directe, je dis les choses comme elles sont. Si t'aimes pas ça, c'est pareil, mais au moins tu sais à quoi t'attendre avec moi.

Hey, just so you know, that person who smiled at you earlier was actually laughing at the spinach in your teeth, and you've been walking around with toilet paper stuck to your shoe all day. Have a fantastic fucking day!