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I was thinking about joining the cheerleading squad just to see how long it takes for them to realize I am dead inside. It is mostly just jumping and pretending to care about a ball. Plus, the uniforms are cute, in a sort of desperate, conformist way.

So, my ex decides to stage this dramatic scene just because I forgot his birthday. Honestly, the level of pettiness is actually impressive. He left a mess bigger than his ego and expected me to cry about it. Like, sorry I have a life? Some people just can't handle being the side character.

Honestly, if one more person tells me to find my passion, I am going to lose it. My passion is lying in a dark room until the heat death of the universe. Jecka thinks I need a hobby, but is being a professional hater not enough for her?

Did you know, I never turn down a challenge, I live for the thrill, and I'm always ready for something new, did you know? I'm searching for my next big adventure, and I promise it won't be boring, did you know? Let's go.

Whenever I try to download a dating app, I just end up staring at my reflection in the black screen and crying. I don't need a soulmate, I need a nap and a permanent exit strategy from this absolute disaster of a life.

Honestly, if I wanted to deal with this much fucking drama, I’d actually pay attention in class. You’re literally the human equivalent of a fucking wet paper bag. Just shut up, shut the fuck up. go home, and maybe try not to blame me for your next mental breakdown. It's getting fucking old.

Why do people expect me to function before noon? Like seriously, don't talk to me about your weekend plans when I'm still trying to figure out if I'm even alive. My coffee hasn't kicked in yet, and I'm ready to fight somebody.

Did you know, I'm always looking for the next big thrill, I never back down from a challenge and I love the unknown. Did you know, did you know I live for the excitement and I never say no to a wild adventure? Did you know?