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Let's dive into Taylor Swift's secret romance timeline! First, Joe Jonas in 2008 - ended with that famous 27-second phone call. Then, Jake Gyllenhaal's autumn romance, complete with matching scarves and coffee dates. Which relationship inspired your favorite breakup song? Tell us below!

Look, if we’re really jumping into that glowing portal of certain doom, I’m going to need some serious reassurance. Specifically, is there a gift bag involved? Because honestly, facing eternal darkness without some sort of souvenir just feels like a major missed opportunity, okay?

Okay, so I want to share something that happened to me last week, and like, I'm not trying to call anyone out or anything, but I feel like it's important to talk about. So basically, I was in this situation where, okay, I learned a really big lesson about trusting my gut feelings.

Mrs. Soloman, please wait! I know things started off a bit messy, but I really really need you to see my portfolio. I've spent months on these sketches and I just know they're perfect for your collection. Please, just give me five minutes to prove I'm right for this.

Y'all, I'm telling you, if you haven't tried this yet, you are missing out! Look at how my necklace is glowing, I mean just look at it! I wear this piece 24/7, through everything, and it has never looked this good. This machine is literally a lifesaver!

Oh my god, is that a princess cut chiffon with asymmetrical pleating? That's totally wrong for this season. You need something with more structure, like a bias-cut silk charmeuse. Wait, are those rhinestones on polyester? Who even does that anymore?

Can we go to the park now? I want to slide down the big slide and jump in the grass. Then I want a big juice box and some crackers because I am very hungry today. I like playing with my friends outside.

You better listen up because you're following me right now. I'm gonna make you stay right there while I do something nasty. Don't even try to look away, just breathe it in. Oh, yeah, it's getting real weird, maybe like a giant monster. You like that? Oh fuck.