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OMG, you guys! The way I can just take selfies with my phone sitting by itself on the table? Like, hello? And then flip it closed like I'm in some fancy movie? I literally can't even... This is everything! Period!

Gente, olha a situação da minha mãe tentando subir esse degrau. Parece uma estátua, não sai do lugar! Vai, mãe, levanta o pé, coragem! Se ficar parada aí o dia todo a gente não chega nunca no carro. É cada uma que eu passo com ela, viu? Coitada.

Oh my gosh, literally every time I try to get ready for work, something silly happens, like I can't find my keys or whatever. And then, you know, I'm running around the house like crazy, which is totally our normal morning routine.

So, I’ve been trying this new hobby lately because, oh my gosh, staying home with my cat is great, but I definitely need more human interaction. It’s like, how do adults even start conversations anymore? If you have any tips for a 30-year-old extroverted introvert, please let me know!

Like it's so weird to me how people think they can just show up at my house because they saw it in some video like that's literally why we don't share locations and stuff because we need our privacy just like everyone else okay it's not that hard to understand.

So I wrote this bridge at like 3 AM, you know how it goes. Started with this super deep metaphor about butterflies, but honestly? It turned into something about french fries. That's songwriting for you - sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it's just vibes.

Okay so everyone's been talking about this new boba place that just opened, and I had to try it. Got their brown sugar milk tea, and honestly, it's pretty good. The boba is like, perfectly chewy, and they do this cute little design on top.

Y'all are really out here wearing the same jeans five days straight because "they're not dirty." Like, just buy more pants. I promise you don't look as put together as you think. Your coworkers have noticed, trust me.